Total Wizard Island
by Turtlerose555
Summary: Twenty Two Teenagers. One Host. The chance for 100,000 Galleons. With your host: Former Defense against the Dark Arts Teacher, Gilderoy Lockhart! Based off of the Total Drama series.
1. Prologue

**This story is off cannon to the Harry Potter universe. And yes, even the Wizarding world has television sets. This is NOT a direct crossover to the show, Total Drama Island (because the characters from TDI are not in this story), but this story is based off that show. If you don't know what show I'm talking about, then go check out the show "Total Drama Island." Either way, the story is funny and will make sence. I promise. I think.**

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><p><strong>~Total Wizard Island: Prologue~<strong>

Gilderoy Lockhart walked down the street of Downtown Britain. He had just been recently released from St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. The Doctors had finally managed to cure his severe memory loss, which really looked like it would be permanent. How the Doctors managed to cure it, no one would know. But all that mattered was that that annoying Lockhart was out of their Hospital for good. They had begun to get tired of him being there.

Lockhart strolled down the street. Now that his memory was intact once more, it gave him a reason to think. And his mind focused right on Harry Potter.

_That Damn Potter,_ He thought.

He wasn't the only one who thought it; enemies had the exact same thought of Harry, but Lockhart wasn't an enemy, and he sure as hell wasn't a friend. He wasn't even famous anymore, just another person walking around Britain. Thanks to Harry and Ron, he was a Nobody. All he'll ever be now is a Nobody. No one cared about him anymore, no one even thought about him. He had gone from Hero to Zero all in just one school year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. His head was fuming, he wanted to get back at those idiot kids, the Potter crew, let them know that he still had what it takes to be a Hero.

"I'll get back at them," He muttered to himself angrily, "I'll get my revenge on them. Just they wait…they'll see…they'll _all_ see what happens when you mess with Gilderoy Lockhart…"

And he stormed down the street, towards his parents' house. Torturing Harry and friends would have to wait. Right now, his main concern was getting food that didn't taste like hospital, and finding a good bed to sleep on.

**~XXXX~**

Lockhart sat on the couch, eating the fabulous food that was cooked by his mother. Well, it wasn't fabulous, but compared to the hospital food at St. Mungo's, _any_ food would be fabulous. His younger nephew, Randy, was watching some kids show that Lockhart didn't mind watching, but wished that the young boy would take it off so that he could watch something more exciting.

"Randy!" Mrs. Lockhart called out into the living room, "Come on, hon. Time for bed!"

Randy got up and left, leaving Lockhart to watch the kids show. He groaned as he had to get up and find the remote, but as he sat back down, he actually found himself watching the show. He had been drawn to it! When the show ended after the half-hour, he found himself actually…laughing! As he laughed his heart out, his brain turned on and began to think. In a few seconds, and idea had popped into his head: He knew just how to get back at the Potter crew. Why try and hunt them down himself, when he could embarrass them on National TV? All of Britain, Muggle and Wizarding Worlds, will see the friends go head to head on National TV!

"Yes! It's brilliant! Simply brilliant! I _shall_ get my revenge on them!"

He then got a parchment, and a quill, and began to write the request to the TV station for his own television show. After the request was written and shipped off with the family owl, he grabbed some Floo Powder and stepped into the fireplace.

"Hogwarts!" he yelled out.

He went spiraling through the darkness towards Hogwarts. He needed to see a certain former colleague, a certain someone who would make the perfect addition to his TV show.

**~XXXX~**

Professor Snape sat in his office, feeling somewhat content (If that was even a word to describe him) with life right now. Summer had just begun, and he was cleaning out his office before heading home. Finally, another summer without having to worry about pesky teenagers learning magic or snotty annoying kids playing pranks on him, although he'll miss yelling and giving detentions. But for now, a couple of months of peace and quiet would have to do. Just then, the fireplace spewed green flames, and Gilderoy Lockhart walked out of them. Snape absolutely _detested_ Lockhart; he was the _last_ person that Snape wanted to see at the moment.

"_Gilderoy Lockhart_," Snape sneered at his former colleague, "What the _hell_ are you doing here?"

"Well, Severus," Lockhart replied, completely oblivious to the anger in Snape's voice, "I have a little, shall we say, _proposition_ for you, should you choose to accept…"

"About what?"

"Well, you dislike a certain Harry Potter crew, right?"

"I'm listening…"

Lockhart put his arm around Snape's shoulder, and they bowed heads as Lockhart discussed his plan. When they put their heads back up, Snape was smiling evilly.

"So…do have a deal?"

"That we do, Lockhart, that we do."

"Now, I've already come up with a list of people we should have on the show. You send letters to the boys, and I'll send letters to the girls!"

Just then, the owl that Lockhart had sent off had come through the office window with a reply letter for Lockhart. He read the letter, and began smiling brightly, his blue eyes lighting up with every word he read.

"Even more good news, Severus. My idea has just been accepted by the Television station. We begin filming live to audiences in just Two weeks…"

**~XXXX~**

**What does Lockhart and Snape have in mind?**

**What will this TV show be about?**

**Will Harry and his friends be embarrassed on National TV throughout all of England?**

**Find out next time!**

**Read&Review!**


	2. Not So Happy Campers: Part One

**This story is based on the show "Total Drama Island". I do not own Total Drama or Harry Potter. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

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><p><strong>Episode One: Not-so-Happy Campers, Part One<strong>

**Lockhart:** Yo! We're coming to you live from Camp Exodus! Somewhere in San Francisco, California! I'm your host, Gilderoy Lockhart! Bringing season 1 of the hottest new reality show on television right now! Here's the deal: Twenty Two campers have signed up to spend Eight weeks right here in this crummy old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, and then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers. Every three days, one of the teams will either win a reward, or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the loser boat, and leave Total Wizard Island for Good! Their fate will be decided here, at the dramatic Campfire Ceremony where each week, all but one camper will receive a marshmallow. In the end, only one camper will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame, and a small fortune which, let's face it, they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle: black flies, grizzly bears, disgusting camp food, and…_each other_! Every moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp. And the best part of it all: They won't be using magic! They were not allowed to bring their wands with them! Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here! Right now! On Total…Wizard…Island!

**~(Total Drama Island Theme Song Plays)~**

"Welcome back to Total Wizard Island," Lockhart greeted once more, "And now, it's time to meet our first campers! We told them that they'd be staying at a Five-Star Resort, so…if they look a little P.O'd, that's probably why…"

While he was standing on the dock, a boat arrived with the very first camper: Susan Bones. A young 15 year old with braces, she's usually seen amongst her Hufflepuff friends at Hogwarts. But the temptation of a vacation on a Five-Star Resort had tempted her.

"Susan! What's up?" Lockhart greeted as she ran over to him.

"It's soooo amazing to meet you again!" She greeted as she practically threw herself on him. "Woah…you're much shorter than I remember you…or maybe it's because I grew taller…"

"Uhhh…thanks…." Lockhart replied as he straightened his clothes, but Susan had started to wave at the cameras.

The boat came back again, this time with Neville. He carried his bags as he walked towards Lockhart, taking in his surroundings as he went.

"Neville!"

"Gilderoy Lockhart! It's great to see you again!" Neville greeted as they hi-fived each other. "Hey, Lockhart man, you sure you got the right place here?"

Lockhart simply nodded, his mouth sporting a huge grin. "Well…where's the hot tub at?"

"Hey man, this is it! Camp Exodus!" This caused Neville to pick up his bags and walk on.

"Hmph…looked a _whole_ lot different on the application…"

Lockhart turned around to see Hermione, who had just gotten off the boat.

"Hey, Hermione!"

He brandished his usual charming smile, but Hermione wasn't falling for it. Ever since the whole Chamber of Secrets episode, she had lost her favor for him. She instead shot him a mean mug look as she looked around and walked towards him.

"Woah…you mean, we're staying _here_?"

"Noooo. _You're_ staying here! My quarters are in airstream with AC," he replied as he pointed behind him. Hermione walked towards him, giving him a death glare.

"I did _not_ sign up for this!"

"Actually," Lockhart said as he pulled a stack of contracts from behind him, "You _did_!" But Hermione stole the copy of the contracts, ripped them in half, and threw them into the lake.

"The great thing about lawyers," Lockhart said as he pulled another set of the same contracts from behind him, smiling evilly as he did so, "is that they make _lots and lots_ of copies."

"I am _not_ staying here," Hermione simply stated as she made to pick up her bags.

"That's cool. But, I hope you can swim though," he said as he gestured to the boat that was leaving, "Because your ride has just left."

Hermione looked longingly at the boat that was leaving her behind before turning her head to glare at Lockhart. "_Jerk!_" she muttered under her breath.

The next boat that came had everyone's favorite Scar-head partying to some music that was playing on the boat. When the boat stopped, he did front flips out the boat, his luggage thrown towards him.

"Gilderoy Lockhart!" Harry said ecstatically as the two fist bumped, "What is _up_, man? It's an honor to see you again, man!"

"Harry Potter! Scar-Head! Welcome to the Island, man!"

"Thanks man!"

"If they say man _one more time_," Hermione said aloud to Neville and Susan, "I'm going to slap someone."

Harry high-fived Lockhart once more before joining the others on the other side of the dock. He went instantly went to Hermione.

"Lighten up, 'Mione," Harry said with a gentle smile.

"You seem happy with Lockhart…I would think you wouldn't have forgotten the whole mess with Ginny a few years ago!"

"Just give the guy another chance, 'Mione!" His voice was a little slurred now, and his eyes were big and dreamy behind his glasses.

"Harry, _please_ tell me you haven't been experimenting with Marijuana again!"

"'Mione, I'm my own person. And I promise I won't go overboard with it!"

"Everybody," Lockhart called to them as he gestured to the dock, "Here's Romilda!"

Romilda, for only a 15 year old girl, honestly had big round breasts. She wore a miniskirt and a white button-down with only the bottom half buttoned up.

"Not too shabby," Lockhart whispered behind his hand.

"Hiiiii," she greeted dreamily as she walked up to Lockhart, "Okay, you look _sooooo_ familiar!"

"I'm Gilderoy Lockhart," he replied, but she still looked confused. "The host…of the show?"

"Ohhh…_That's_ where I know you from!"

"Uhhh…yeah…"

Just then, the boat dropped off a certain Gryffindor girl with curly brown hair, and a girly outlook. She looked around at everyone with a steely look on her face, particularly Hermione, causing an outlook of fear to form on Susan and Neville's faces.

"Lavender Brown…" Lockhart said hesitantly as Lavender stomped pass him. As she stomped her way towards the others, Susan ran up to her, her face lit up with absolute glee.

"HIIIIIII!" She waved violently in Lavender's face. "Looks like we're all gonna be buddies for the next Eight weeks!" she shouted as she sent spit flying into Lavender's face.

Lavender was instantly revolted by Susan, but right before she had the chance to tell her off, Heavy Metal Rock music began to blast, and they all looked as the next boat arrived carrying Draco Malfoy, one leg propped up and his arm bracing against it. He had a snarl on his face as he threw his duffle bag out the boat and jumped out with it, instantly taking in his surroundings.

"Draco! Dude!" Lockhart said to him.

"I'm not a person who likes _surprises_," Draco snarled as he clenched his fist, instantly showing his immediate dislike for the camp.

"Ah yes…your parents and Lord Voldy told me about that, man. They also told me to send them an owl anytime so you can return to The Death Eaters' clan for the rest of the summer in case you give off any trouble."

"Alright then," he said simply as he grabbed his bag and walked towards his fellow schoolmates. "Meet you by the campfire, gorgeous," he said seductively to Lavender, winking in her direction.

"Drop dead, you snaky serpent!" she shouted out in revolt. But Draco only blew a kiss at her and flashed a smile.

"I'm calling my parents," Lavender said aloud as she stomped to the other side of the dock, "You can _not_ keep me here at all for Eight weeks!"

But in response, Lockhart only waved the contracts at her, almost causing her to lunge out and attack him. Just then, a horn honked, and a boat came with Seamus paragliding behind it.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Seamus Finnigan!"

Seamus was yelling and cheering, apparently having a good time while his schoolmates watched in awe. However, the ropes that held him up suddenly snapped in two, and Seamus went spiraling down, screaming as he went. He crash-landed into the luggage, sending bags into the ocean on the other side of the dock. One of the bags splashed water all over Lavender, covering her from head to toe in Lake Water.

"UGH! MY SHOES!" a now sopping-wet Lavender cried out.

"That was one, amazing wipeout, man!"

Seamus shoved his fist out of the pile of luggage and formed a thumbs up, indicating that he was okay. Hermione only shook her head, muttering the word "Boys…" under her breath. Everyone laughed at Lavender as she slipped her way towards them. Lockhart laughed the loudest, until he heard the sounds of camera shutters cutting through the air. He turned to face young Collin Creevey, his hair now spiked up a bit, but his boyish facial features still intact.

"Welcome to camp, Collin!" Lockhart greeted.

Collin looked around at the campsite a bit before looking at Lockhart. "So you mean to say that this show is at a yucky, grossed out summer camp, and not on some big stage or something?"

"Thhaaaaaaaaatttt's right!"

"Yes!" Collin cheered, "That is _sooooo_ much more to my skill likings!"

He walked to the others feeling satisfied, leaving Lockhart to shudder at his weirdness. The boat pulled up once more, and a certain Red-haired and freckle faced teen came off, his knapsack on his back and his guitar case in hand.

"Contestant Number Nine," Lockhart gestured, "Is Ron Weasley!"

Ron, too, had spiked up his hair a bit in the front, and, Hermione hated to admit it, he was looking, well, _hot_! He went over to the contestants, and was immediately embraced by Harry.

"It's great to see you man!" Harry said, the slur in his voice having disappeared.

"You too, mate!" Ron greeted back.

He went to hug Hermione, but she immediately declined, much to Ron's dismay.

"Awww, c'mon 'Mione! Just one hug!"

"Maybe later. Right now, my mood has been ruined by Lockhart."

"Later. I'll hold you up on that word…"

He pushed back a strand of Hermione's hair from covering what was, he thought, her beautiful face. Hermione pushed his hand away and crossed her arms. Ron only shrugged and turned around. Hermione didn't care, but deep down inside, she wanted him to touch her again, and a small smile crept up on her face.

The boat came once more, and Ginny Weasley was on board, her broomstick in hand, bag in the other.

"Ahhh, our sports girl, Ginny Weasley!" Lockhart said.

"Hey, what's up?" Ginny greeted to the others.

"What's up with the broomstick? This is isn't the Quidditch Pitch, Hon," Draco sneered at her.

"Hey, I _thought_ we were gonna be on a beach, or in a wide open space!" she shot back.

"But we are!" Lockhart shouted out as he gestured broadly to the run down camp that didn't even look fit for human beings to live in.

Ginny sighed. "Are you _kidding me_?"

"And that makes camper number-"

But before he said the number, Ginny picked up her bags, and in the process ended up whacking Lockhart in the head, leaving a red mark across his face.

"Owwww! That seriously hurt! I hope you didn't dent my face, because I have to get my picture taken for the Daily Prophet later!"

Whether she heard him or not, she didn't care. She was already with her fellow schoolmates. Harry had ran up to her.

"Umm, Hi Gin…"

"Hey, Harry! What's up?"

"Oh nothing, just, you know, experimenting with myself…"

"Marijuana again, Harry?"

"Well yeah! And I can stop any time I wanna!"

"How about now?"

"I said anytime _I _want to!"

"You know, it would be really good if you did. I don't want anything to happen to you, Scar-Head."

But before Harry could answer, she was whisked away to converse with Hermione and Susan. Harry looked at her longingly. Does Ginny even notice him anymore?

"Okay, we've all met the Weasley girl," Lavender said impatiently, still trying to dry off, "Can we _please_ get on with the show now?"

"Uh oh, looks like _somebody_ didn't drink their Mocha Frapp this morning," Draco said aloud so that Lavender could hear. Collin instantly started to snicker, and Lavender only let out a small "Hmph!" while turning her head away, nose up and arms crossed across her chest. "Go play in some traffic, you loser," she replied hotly.

The boat returned again, this time dropping off Ernie Macmillian, the brainiac Hufflepuff student at Hogwarts, even though his smartness can't even begin to compare to Hermione's.

"Our…ugh…next camper," Lockhart grunted, still rubbing the mark on his face that Ginny had left with her broom, "Is Ernie!"

"So you_ did_ get my owl letter about my life threatening diseases and all, right?" was the first question Ernie asked as soon as he walked up to Lockhart.

"I'm pretty sure _someone_ did-"

"Good. Is this where we're staying? 'Cause if it is…_GROSS_!"

"No, it's your Mum's house, and we're having a party," Draco replied sarcastically.

"Awww, how cute. The Malfoy boy's trying to rip on me," Ernie sarcastically replied back, causing everyone to laugh. "And that mark of the Dark Lord on your arm. How _original_. What, you do that yourself?"

Draco's temper flared, and he grabbed Ernie by the neck with both hands. "Yeah, I did," he said hotly, "And I can give you one, too, if you want one!"

"Uhh…no thanks. Can I have my neck back please?"

He was strangely calm throughout the whole ordeal, and Draco, feeling that he could not put up with Ernie's sarcasticness any further, decided to let him go.

"Thank you," Ernie replied curtly while rubbing his neck, now red from Draco grabbing it.

Another boat came, and Cho Chang was on it, dancing away to hip hop music on board.

"What's up, party people!" Cho called from the ship as she waved to everyone on the dock, and everyone waved back at her. She got off the boat, and immediately, a happy aura spreaded throughout the campers.

"Hey, what's up, Lockhart," she cheerfully replied as she high-fived Lockhart. She then strolled her way towards the others. "You guys feel free to quit now and save yourself trouble down the road, because I came here to WIN!"

"Hey Cho!" Neville greeted when she came to him.

"What's up, bro? Give Cho some love," she greeted back as they high-fived each other and shared a hug.

Collin then came up and started taking rapid pictures of Cho. "Wow, I've never seen a girl like _you_ before!"

"Umm…_excuse me_?"

"You're really loud! And I thought Asians were quiet and shy!"

Unfortunately, this seemed to offend Cho greatly, and she turned and started on him.

"Woah…_what did you just say to me_? I know you're not talking bad about Asians in my presence now, are you?"

Neville had to hold her back from attacking poor Collin, and everyone on the dock looked on as Cho made a scene. Cho only continued to take pictures of her, enraging Cho even further.

"Okay, okay campers! Settle down, why don't you?" Lockhart yelled at them. They went back to their original positions. Cho calmed down and looked at Collin, who flashed her a smile. Just then, the boat came, and off came the Patil twins: Parvati and Padma.

"Parvati! Padma!" Lockhart greeted, "Welcome to your new home for the next Eight weeks!"

He gestured towards the smelly looking camp, but the "wonder" of it all seem to catch them, and they enjoyed it.

"Oh my God, Padma, look! It's a Summer Camp!"

"I know! I've always wanted to go to Summer Camp, especially one outside of Britain!"

Both girls squealed, picked up their bags and ran to the other campers, while Lockhart only shook his head in confusement. The boat came again, and Cormac McLaggen came onto the dock.

"Cormac! What's up, man?"

Cormac only looked up and pointed towards the sky. "I think I see a flying squirrel!" He replied, and Ron started to snicker, causing Hermione to elbow him in the ribs.

"Okay Cormac, It's come to my understanding you've been homeschooled for a year by your parents, and that this is your first time seeing the world beyond your house in over a year. So do me a favor: Don't say too much, and try not to get kicked off too early. Alright?"

"Yes sir," was all Cormac said as he walked towards the others. They all stared at him in shock. How could he not have a sudden disliking for Lockhart like everyone else did? The boat came once again, and Justin Flinch-Fletchey had descended onto the dock.

"Justin! Justin Case! Welcome to the Island man!"

"I'm like, _soooo_ psyched to be here, man!" Justin said as he strolled down the dock towards the other campers. "Woah! I see the _ladies_ have already arrived! Alright, alright!" he flirted as he passed by Ginny, Romilda, and Cho. Romilda smiled flirtatiously at him, while Ginny and Cho looked strangely at him. He turned around to say something to Cho, but she only smiled at him and pushed her finger against his lips. "Save it, lover boy," she laughed, and he backed off smiling.

Just then, the dock began to shake, like an earthquake was hitting, everyone looked up and saw their next camper heading for them fresh off the boat. Marietta Edgecombe. She had toughen up since the last time many had seen her, when she and Cho had a falling out of their friendship after a huge argument. She looked like she could be part of the American NFL. The campers feared for their safety as she made her way towards them.

"Marietta," Lockhart calmly, if not hesitantly, said as she walked passed him, carrying her gym bag.

Justin reached out to hi-five her, but she only mean-mugged him, and dropped her heavy gym bag on his foot, almost literally crushing his foot. "OWWWW!" Justin cried as he jumped up and down on one foot, "What's in this thing? Dumbbells and weights?"

"Yes," she simply said while raising an eyebrow at him, though her tone of voice sounded like she wanted to kill every last one of the campers on the dock at the moment.

"You can have her. She's _allll_ yours, mate," Draco quietly said to Neville.

Lockhart looked at the scene, clearly enjoying the sight, until someone came off the next boat, and started to scream in his ear. "WHOOO HOOO! It's so great to be here! Lockhart, what's up, man!"

Lockhart covered his ears as he turned and saw a beaming Dean Thomas looking at him with bright eyes.

"DEAN! WELCOME TO THE ISALND!" Lockhart shouted back in his face.

"IT'S SO AWESOME TO BE HERE!" Dean yelled as he hugged Lockhart tightly. Lockhart, on the other hand, looked as if he was going to suffocate. "MAN! THIS IS JUST SO…um…"

"Awesome?" Hermione finished for him, laughing as she did so.

"YES! AWESOME! Took the words right out of my mouth, 'Mione! WHOOO! Hey, are you gonna be on my team?"

"Oh, I sure hope so," Hermione said sarcastically, although Dean was completely oblivious to the sarcasm tone in her voice.

"WHOOOOO!" Dean sang out in a operatic tone. "You about done, mate?" Lockhart asked, obviously annoyed.

"Sorry, man," Dean apologized as he let go of Lockhart, "I'm just so PSYCHED!"

"Good," Lockhart answered as he straightened his clothes again for the umpteenth time that day, "And look, here comes Pansy Parkinson!"

Pansy waved from the boat she was coming on. She had really nicened up over the past few years, and was one of very few Slytherins that students at Hogwarts actually wanted to befriend. Lockhart grabbed a hold of her hand and helped her off the boat, to which she politely replied, "Thank you." She walked over to the others. "You guys must be the other campers! So nice to see you guys again!"

"It's really great to see you too, Pansy!" Dean said as he made to shake her hand roughly, to which she laughed.

"It's great seeing you again, D…woooowwww…"

She had looked in the other direction and sighed, and everyone had looked that way too. The boat approaching had held Michael Corner on deck, and he looked _incredibly_ hot! Every camper had their eyes turned dreamy and was lost in a trance as Michael got off the boat.

"This," Lockhart gestured broadly, "Is Michael! Welcome to Total Wizard Island, mate!"

"Thanks, Lockhart, this is great!"

"Just so you know, man, we chose you based entirely off your looks."

"I can deal with that."

He walked towards the others, still lost in their trance. "I love your clothes, man!" Dean exclaimed, "They look all worn out yet cool at the same time!" "Thanks, mate," Michael simply replied back. "Did you buy them like that?" "Nope. I just had them for a while." As he stopped, almost every girl swooned over him. Dean slapped his face in frustration after realizing how stupid he had been.

"Hey everyone," Lockhart called out, "Here comes Luna!"

"Hi Lockhart! Hi guys! Hi, hi, hi!"

As she ran towards the front of the boat, she slipped and fell out hitting her head on the edge of the dock and falling into the water. "Oooo! That had _definitely_ got to hurt!" Seamus cried out as a bunch of people began laughing. Pansy sprinted to the other side of the dock. "You guys! Stop laughing! She could be seriously hurt!" she cried out as she pulled Luna up onto the Deck. But if she was hurt, she didn't show it, for she had instead started to shake her head like a dog, spraying water everywhere.

"That felt…so…_good!_"

Everyone looked at her in surprise as she started speaking fast like a psycho.

"Except for the part where I hit my head. Is this a summer camp? That is so _awesome_! Do you have origami here? Are we having lunch soon?"

"_That_ is a good call!" Dean answered, agreeing with her last question.

"We will! But first, we must take a group picture for the promos!" Lockhart replied. "Everyone gather on this side of the dock to take it!"

They all walked onto the other side, where everyone had first gotten off, and grouped together. Lockhart hopped onto the boat, his camera ready to snap the picture.

"Okay, everybody, One…Two…Three-hang on! Forgot the lens cap! Alright, here we go! One…Two-hold up, let me change the memory card!"

"Come on, now," Cho said, annoyed, "We haven't got all day! My face is starting to hurt!"

"Got it! Now hold that pose! Everyone say 'Camp Exodus!'"

"CAMP EXODU-AHHHHH!"

Just as they said it, the dock, being old from the camp not being used, had broke under the combined weight of all the campers, and all of them down in the water below. And Lockhart, being the vain person he was, snapped pictures of all of them in the water.

"Alright, campers! Great pictures by the way," Lockhart exclaimed, "Now, go dry off, and let's all meet at the campfire pit in 10 minutes!"

**~XXXX~**


	3. Not So Happy Campers: Part One continued

**From this moment on, all campers names that appear in Bold font (except for the last bit here with Lockhart and at the very beginning in the intro) means that the person is inside the confession booth.**

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><p><strong>Episode One: Not-so-Happy Campers, Part One (continued)<strong>

"This," Lockhart said after everyone had gathered back at the campfire pit, "Is Camp Exodus, your home for the next Eight weeks! The campers you see around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and _maybe_ even your friends! Got it?"

At this last part, Draco turned around and growled at Collin, making a fist at him. Collin whimpered silently and shook in Draco's presence.

"The camper who stays on the Island the longest without getting voted off, will win 100,000 Galleons!"

"Excuse me Lockhart," Draco interrupted, "What will be our sleeping arrangements? Because I would love to request a bunk under _hers_," he said as he pointed and winked flirtatiously in Lavender's direction.

"The cabins aren't _co-ed_, are they?" Lavender asked as she looked revoltingly in Draco's direction.

"Nooooo," Lockhart answered, "Girls get one side, and guys get the other side of the cabins."

"Ummm, excuse me, Leon," Romilda called to Lockhart, "But can I have the cabin with the lakeside view since I'm obviously the prettiest?"

"Okay, you obviously are, but that's not how things work here," Lockhart replied, "And, my name is _Gilderoy_ or _Lockhart_."

Parvati and Padma gasped. "I, like, have to live with Padma, or I'll just die!" Parvati exclaimed as she and Padma held hands. "And I'll, like, break out in Hives if I'm separated from my twin!" Padma exclaimed.

"This can _not_ be happening," Hermione groaned, and she wasn't the only one who felt that way. "Aww don't sweat it, guys! It'll be fun!" Dean exclaimed has he put his arms around Seamus and Hermione. "It'll be like a big sleepover!"

"You're lucky," Seamus whispered to Hermione, "You're a _girl_! You don't have to _sleep next_ to him!"

The two of them looked across at Draco, who had a poor deer in a headlock and was suffocating it, then looked back at each other, fear written across their faces.

"Here's the deal," Lockhart said as he pulled out a piece of parchment with names on it, "I'm gonna split you guys into two teams. When I call your name out, go stand over on the left side of the pit. Hermione…Ron…Lavender…Justin…Romilda…Susan…Parvati…Dean…Cho…Michael…and Ernie! From this moment on, you guys will be known as…The Screaming Grizzlies!" He threw a banner at him with a picture of a ferocious grizzly on the front.

"Yeah man!" Dean cheered, "I'm a Grizzly! YEAAHHHH!"

"Wait!" Parvati cried, "What about Padma?"

"The rest of you," Lockhart continued, "Come over to the right side of the pit. Harry…Ginny (Harry was quite happy at this choice)…Neville…Seamus…Padma…Luna…Pansy…Cormac…Draco (he looked up in mid deer headlock)…Marietta…and Collin! Hustle, you guys, hustle!"

"No! But Parvati's a Grizzly! I _have _to be a Grizzly!" Padma cried out, coming close to tears.

"Awww…don't worry, Padma," Pansy consoled, "It'll be alright."

"This is _soooo_ unfair!" Padma cried as Pansy led her to the rest of their team. "I'll miss you Parvati!"

"I'll miss you, too!" Parvati sobbed.

"You guys," Lockhart said as he threw a banner to the other team, "Will be known as…The Killer Bones!" The banner contained a picture with a skull and crossbones.

"Wooow…" Collin said in awe at the banner, "It's like…_amazing_…" He put the banner on the ground and proceeded to take pictures of it.

"Alright teams," Lockhart said, "You and your teammates will be on camera in _all_ public areas during the competition!"

* * *

><p><strong>Lockhart: <strong>You will also be able to share your inner most private thoughts on tapes with video diaries anytime you want using the confession cam right here in this bathroom! Let the audience at home what you're _really_ thinking about! Or…just get a confession off your chest.

**Hermione: **Okay…well…so far this really sucks.

**Romilda:** **(facing the toilet, butt towards camera)** I don't get it…where's the camera guy?

**Dean: **Hey everyone…check this out…I have something very important to say. **(Lifts leg up and farts)** Hahahah!

* * *

><p>"So guys," Lockhart called the attention of the campers, "Any questions? No? Cool. Let's find your cabins!"<p>

They walked over towards the cabin site. "Grizzlies in the East cabin, Bones in the West cabin."

The campers picked up their belongings and trumped their way towards the cabins. Lavender kicked open the door to the Grizzlies cabin.

"_Bunk Beds?_" Lavender whined when she saw inside the cabin, which strangely enough looked very decent inside. "Isn't this a little like…_Summer Camp_?"

"That's the idea, _genius_," Hermione said as she shoved her way past Lavender into the cabin.

"Ugh…shut it, weird brainy girl!"

Justin came over to Hermione, his face in a smile. "You know, you're really smart, Hermione. I really feel you!"

Hermione dropped her bags on the bed and turned to face Justin, hands on her hips. "Shouldn't you be on the _boy's side_?"

Justin smiled warmly at her, but Hermione picked him up with both hands, and threw him, sending him flying across the cabin, and out the door into the muddy ground. The rest of the Grizzlies looked on as Justin started spitting grass and mud out his mouth.

"Umm…where are the outlets?" Romilda asked, "I _really_ need to plug in my hair straightener!"

"There are some in the Communal Bathrooms, just across the waayyy…" He pointed towards the bathrooms, which looked and smelled disgusting.

"Well, where's the spa? I'm _soooo_ confused!"

"Well…" Lockhart started, "_That's_ a shocker…"

"It means we shower together," Hermione said as she sat down on the steps, "Idiot…"

"NOOOOOO! Common!" Romilda cried and whined. Hermione had to cover her ears from Romilda. The boys looked outside from their cabin to see what all the noise was about.

"I'm glad we're in our own cabin with just guys," Dean said, "You know what I mean? Hehehe…." But Ron and Ernie only looked at him in annoyed silence, and they started to get concerned and walked off. "No! I didn't mean it like _that_ you guys!" Dean desperately tried to explain. "_I love girls_, alright? I just don't wanna sleep with them! No wait I mean-GAHHH!"

* * *

><p>Lockhart had lead the Killer Bones over to their cabins on the West side and watched as they settled in.<p>

"Uhh, Lockhart," Harry called, "Is there, like, _any_ adult supervision at all around here?" He asked it as Ginny walked by, and couldn't help but smile as she walked by him, her hair smelling like strawberries, and proceeded to check her out.

"Well," Lockhart said, "You guys are all around 16 years ago, which is the age of a Counselor in training at a regular summer camp. Besides me being around, you guys are pretty much _unsupervised_. You're free to do whatever the hell you feel like doing. Now, you guys have about half an hour to unpack, settle in, and meet me back at the Main Lodge. Staaarrrttttiiinnnnggg…now!"

"Niiiccceeee!" Harry exclaimed as Lockhart walked away.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" someone screamed out, alerting all the campers in the vicinity. Neville, Seamus, Hermione, Lavender, Draco, and Cho ran to find out what all the commotion was about. They reached the entrance of the Screaming Grizzlies girl's cabin, and found Romilda screaming.

"Damn…that girl can _scream_," Cho groaned.

Romilda cowered on top of a stepping stool, screaming at what appeared to be a large bug of some sort. "W-W-W-What the hell is _that_?" she screamed as she pointed at the bug. "Kill it! KILL IT!" The bug started running around, and Neville suddenly had a panic attack, screeched out, and leaped for the bunk bed, getting his head caught in the mattress as he did so. Hermione and Cho simply rolled their eyes at the two of them. "That was _my_ bed, Neville…" Hermione groaned.

Collin then came running in to the scene and preceded to take pictures of the bug while attempting to stomp on it. Everyone was either trying to step on the bug and kill it, or jumping on top of things and ledges to get away from the disgusting, mutated bug, causing a whole lot of chaos in the process.

The cabin was filled with shrieks and screams as the bug crawled around. It crawled directly to Draco, who waited by the door with an axe in hand, held it up over his head, and brought it down on the bug, spilling bug guts on the small space, swiftly ending its life.

"Well, that's _one_ way to kill a cockroach," Hermione said, impressed by Draco's murder.

"Awesome…" Collin said as he took pictures of the writhing bug, its body now in half.

"If you ever see one of those again," Seamus said, grinning ear to ear as he got in Neville and Romilda's faces (Well, more of Romilda's face), "Just let me know, and I'll come handle it, 'kay? 'Cause, you know, I could do that too!"

Something clicked in Romilda's head, for now she was completely intoxicated by Seamus Finnigan, and she looked at him with dreamy eyes. Seamus looked back at her with the same dreamy eyes. It was as if a connection had been made between the two of them. Seamus winked flirtatiously at her, and Romilda in turn giggled softly and shyly.

"Sigh…they _always_ go for the 'jocks'," Draco said as he rolled his eyes at them.

* * *

><p>The teens stood in the Main Lodge, hands behind their back, all of a sudden getting yelled at by their Potions teacher, Severus Snape. They were pretty sure they'd gotten rid of him for a few months of summer vacation. What he was doing here as the camp chef, they had no clue, nor did they want to know.<p>

"Listen up!" He yelled at them through the kitchen window, "I serve it three times a day, you _eat_ it three times a day! Grab a tray, get your food, and sit your asses down NOW!"

"Ummm, Snape," Susan asked timidly, "Will we be receiving all the major food groups?"

But instead of answering, he threw glob balls of unknown products on the trays.

"Yes, I would like to know, too," Collin agreed, "I get Hypoglycemic if I don't get enough sugar in my body."

Unbeknownst to them, Snape was getting angrier and angrier with them. "JUST SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS!" He yelled in Collin's face, causing him to quickly scurry and find a seat as far away from Snape as possible.

"Talk about having a cow," Dean said to Ernie. "WHAT WAS THAT?" Snape yelled at Dean. "Come up closer, Mr. Thomas, I don't think I _heard_ you clear enough!"

Dean whimpered. "Uhh, I really didn't _say_ anything, really, professor," he hesitated as he reached out of a tray of food, "Really, I didn't." "I'm sure you _didn't_!" Snape yelled at him.

Dean quickly ran off, and Ernie froze as Snape looked directly at him. "YOU! SKINNY! BRING YOUR TRAY TO ME!" Ernie came up with his tray, and Snape dropped a glob of the food substance onto Ernie's tray. But if there was magic in the food, Ernie couldn't tell, for the food had somewhat came to life and some of it jumped right back into the scooper that Snape was holding. Ernie walked away, his appetite somewhat lost.

Marietta was next in line, Cho right behind her. Cho decided to make some small talk with her former best friend. She hadn't spoken to Marietta since that huge argument in front of the whole school that ended their friendship. "Hey, what's up, girl?" Cho greeted. But Marietta only glared at her, picked up her tray of food, and stomped off, making it very clear that she wanted nothing to do with Cho anymore. Cho glared at her back, feeling relieved that the two of them were on opposite teams.

In fact, Cho was just ready to fire Marietta's ass up. "Oh, so _that's_ how it's gonna be-"

"NEXT!" Snape yelled in her ear, causing her to jump Five feet in the air and barely regaining her balance on the ground.

* * *

><p>"Ummm…excuse me?" Romilda said to Snape as she and Hermione stood in front of their trays of food, "My nutritionist told me I can't have any white sugar, white flour, or dairy." Snape, however, looked like he could care less.<p>

"Trust me, hon," Hermione said to her while looking at the disgusting food, "I really don't think that _that's_ going to be a problem." As she looked back at the food, it seemed to move, almost causing her to jump.

"Cool Beans!" Romilda said happily, and she picked up her tray and went to sit next to Seamus, who had saved a seat for her.

"Okay," Hermione said sternly to Snape, "I hate to be the predictable one, and complain on the first day, but I think my food just moved."

Snape, however, simply took out a meat mallet, and smashed the glob of food, sending food flying onto himself and Hermione. "Riiiigghhhttt…" Hermione nervously laughed, "That's cool! I'll just take my tray and go now!"

The campers sat at the tables and reluctantly ate their food, which didn't look sanitary or safe at all. Soon, Lockhart had walked into the lodge and grabbed their attention. "Welcome to the Main Lodge," Lockhart said.

"Hey, Lockhart man," Harry called out, "Can we _please_ order a pizza or something?"

At his question, Snape took offense and threw a giant meat knife out the kitchen, which soared just a few inches above Harry's head, and landed into the wall, just about six inches left of where Lockhart was standing.

"It's cool man, It's cool!" Harry yelled nervously at Snape in the kitchen, "This food is cool!" Snape glared at Harry, arms crossed, and brandishing another giant meat knife. As if the pair didn't already hate each other enough. Everyone else either nodded and agreed with Harry's statement, shook from fear in their seats, or dived below the tables in fear that Snape would throw another knife.

"Hahah, alright campers," Lockhart said as he recovered from laughing so much, "Your very first challenge starts in exactly…One hour!" after saying it, he walked out the lodge.

"What do you think he'll make us do?" Parvati asked curiously to Neville. "It's our first challenge," Neville reassured, "How hard could it _possibly_ be?"

He had spoken too soon. In one hour, the teens were in their swimming clothes, standing on a Cliffside, which just happened to be 5,000 feet high from the water below.

**~XXXX~**

**Lockhart:** Next time, on Total Wizard Island:

_-"Your task is to jump off this 5,000 ft high cliff, into the Lake!"_

_**-?: **__I'm looking at this guy and just thinking '_There's _no way_ he's gonna make it!'"

-_**?:**__ I actually thought that if he jumps this, he's gonna die._

_-"I'm going to die now. I'm going to TOTALLY die now!"_

_-"AHHHHHHH!"_

**Lockhart: **Find out what happens during the task, and _if_ any of the campers survive! Right here! On Total..Wizard…Island!


	4. Not So Happy Campers: Part Two

**This story is based off the show "Total Drama Island". I do not own TDI or Harry Potter.**

* * *

><p><strong>Episode Two: Not-So-Happy Campers, Part Two<strong>

**Lockhart: **Last time on Total Wizard Island, twenty-two campers have signed up to spend eight weeks at this crummy old summer camp, then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers…_without wands or magic!_ Find out if these teens can survive their first ever challenge! Right now! On Total…Wizard…Island!

**~(Total Drama Island Theme Song Plays)~**

"Okay," Lockhart said to the terrified campers as they stood in their swimming clothes, still looking down at the water below, "Today's challenge is threefold! Your first task is to jump off this 5,000 ft high cliff into the lake!"

"Piece of cake," Ginny said aloud.

"If you look down now," Lockhart continued, "You'll see two target areas: The wider area represents the part of the lake that we have stalked with psychotic, man eating sharks! Inside that area is a safe zone. That's _your_ target area! Which, we're pretty sure, is shark-free!"

"_Excuse_ me?" Cho said, mirroring the expressions of many of the others.

"For each member of your team that actually jumps and…ahem…_survives_…there will be a crate of supplies waiting for them. Inside those crates are tools you need to continue on with the second task: Building…a…Hot Tub! The team that builds the best one will win a glorious Hot Tub Party tonight! The losers…will be sending someone home. Killer Bones, you guys are up first!"

Ginny looked over the edge once more, becoming more nervous and scared. "Sooo…who wants to go first?" she asked her teammates. However, the Killer Bones were standstill in silence, each too scared to come forward. The Screaming Grizzlies looked on, each feeling the same pit of fear that the other team was feeling.

"Hey, common guys," Dean assured, "I heard that these type of shows always make the interns test the stunt first to make sure it's safe and survivable."

* * *

><p>"<em>We need to test the stunts first, you know that!" Lockhart said to Snape. Snape was standing on the Cliffside, in a Speedo and a duck floaty.<em>

"_Do I _look_ like an intern?" Snape asked disbelievingly._

"_Noooo…but the other interns are all in the hospital. Common, just jump you big chicken! Bawk bawk bawk bawk!"_

"_Ughhh…"_

_Snape reluctantly pulled the goggles over his eyes. "I don't get paid enough for this shit," he sighed as he jumped 5,000 feet off the cliff. "AHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed on the way down, but he landed about ten feet away from the safe zone._

"_Hmmm," He said as he reappeared above the surface of the water, "I made it!" All of a sudden, something brushed against his foot, sending chills up his spine. "Hey! Something just brushed up against my leg!" He panicked as he looked around, looking for whatever had touched him. "What's going on? Lockhart! Something's not right! Seriously, something isn't right!"_

_He was suddenly dragged down below for a few seconds, before jumping back up above the surface. "AHHHHHH! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU STUPID SHARK!" He yelled as he swam as fast as he could away from a shark that was in hot pursuit of him._

"_Well," Lockhart said as he checked off something on a piece of parchment, "_That_ seems safe enough for those teens." He laughed to himself as he walked off, leaving Snape to fend for himself against the shark._

* * *

><p>"So," Marietta said strictly to her frightened team, "Who's up?"<p>

"_Ladies_ first," Draco said seductively and nervously at the same time.

"Fine…I'll go," Ginny said, though she was secretly regretting this choice, "It's no big deal…just an insane cliff dive through a circle of angry sharks."

She then spread out her arms and jumped off the cliff, her eyes closed and not uttering a single sound. She fell 5,000 feet down, and landed in the safe zone. She resurfaced after a few seconds, and waved happily at everyone above, indicating that she was safe.

"She did it you guys!" Seamus exclaimed, "Yeah!"

"Go Ginny!" Harry cheered, "Show 'em who's boss!"

"I'm going next!" Seamus shouted as he ran back a few feet, then sprinted towards the edge of the cliff. "COWABUNGA!" He screamed as she jumped off the cliff. He cheered as he went on the way down. "YEAH! TAKE THIS, CAMP EXODUS!" But as he landed, he had his legs open in splits form, and landed on his private parts on one of the buoys. "OWWWWW!" He screamed as he slid into the water, grabbing his balls. "Ooohhh…that's _gotta_ hurt!" Ginny said as she watched Seamus slip under the surface.

Harry took a few steps back as he made to leap off the cliff. "WOOOHHOOOO!" He yelled as he went spiraling down into the water below. "LOOK OUT BELLOOOOWWWW!" Marietta shouted as she jumped in after him. Draco jumped off, but he didn't make a single sound; instead, he had his arms cross and a glare on his face, stating the fact that he could care less and that he'd rather be somewhere else.

Neville looked over the edge, scared for his life. "Uh uh, no _way_, man," He said nervously as he backed away from the Cliffside. "I'm _not_ jumping."

"Scared of heights?" Lockhart asked with a smile on his face.

"Yeah, I am," Neville answered. "Ever since I was a kid…"

"That's okay big guy," Lockhart reassured, "But unfortunately, that also makes you a chicken! So, you'll have to wear _this_ for the rest of the day!" He grabbed a chicken hat and put it over Neville's head.

"Aww man, are you serious, Lockhart?"

"Bawk, bawk, bawk! That means the chicken path down is that way!" He pointed behind him to an escalator that led down the hill. Neville sadly walked over to the escalator, his head hung in shame.

"Next!" Lockhart shouted. Cormac crouched down like a frog, leapt up, and fell down towards the water. "YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!" he yelled all the way down. But, he ended up hitting his head on a pointed part of the side of the cliff, and it sent him spiraling out of control towards t the water, but he landed in the safe zone, giving his team another point. Harry, Ginny, and Seamus cheered for him, while Marietta stood there motionless and glaring, while Draco still could care less. Collin came to the edge, preparing to jump. "Yes! This'll show off my real fun side!" and he jumped off the cliff, his legs wide open in split form, but when he landed in the water, he landed on his balls on something unseen, and yelled out in pain. "AHHHHHHHH!" he screamed out, causing a flock of birds to fly off. His teammates groaned as they watched Collin slip into the water, still writhing in pain.

"Ooohh…hate to see that happen," Lockhart said as he stood by Pansy on the Cliffside.

"Um, excuse me Lockhart," Pansy said, "I have a medical condition."

"What condition?"

"A condition that prevents me from _jumping off cliffs_."

"Well, you can chicken out if you _want_, but it might end up costing your team the win. And then they'll probably hate you. Your choice."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take. I've seen the other team, and I don't think _any_ of them will jump." She said as she looked over to the other team, who stood waiting for their turn to jump.

"Alright then, here's your chicken hat," Lockhart said as he place the chicken hat on her head. "Now, let me see the results. Wait a minute…" He looked at the checklist of people that had jumped. "That's Seven jumpers, One about to jump, and Two chickens. Which means, we're missing one…" He looked over and saw Padma holding hands with her twin, Parvati.

"I'm _not_ jumping without Parvati!" Padma said defiantly

"We _have_ to be on the same team, Lockhart!" Parvati begged.

"PLLEEEAAASSSSSEEEEE! PLLEEEAASSEEE! CAN WE? CAN WE? CAN WE? CAN WE?"

Luna looked over at them, contemplating the whole situation. "I'll switch places with her," she spoke up. Lockhart looked very annoyed at them. "Alright! Alright!" He finally said, caving in. "You guys are now both on the Killer Bones! Luna, you're on the Screaming Grizzlies!"

"YEESS!" The girls exclaimed as the switch was made, and Luna went over to the Grizzlies while Parvati joined the Bones. "That means you two are up!" Lockhart said.

"WE'RE COMING KILLER BONES!" The twins screamed as they ran towards the edge and jumped off the cliff. "AHHHHHHH!" They screamed on the way down, and landed in the safe zone.

"Alright, that's Nine jumpers and Two chickens," Lockhart said as he tallied up the score for the Killer Bones, "Screaming Grizzlies, if you guys can beat that, I'll throw in a pull cart to put your crates on!"

"Nice!" Ron exclaimed, "Alright, gang, who's up first?"

However, the team stared at each other, waiting for someone to make the first move.

"I'm sorry," Lavender said all huffy as she crossed her arms and stuck her nose in the air, "But there's absolutely _no way_ I'm doing this."

"Why not?" asked Susan.

"Um, _hello_? We're on _National Television!_ I _refuse_ to get my hair wet!"

Hermione and Cho only glared at her. "You've _got_ to be kidding me!" Hermione groaned

"If _she's_ not doing it, then _I'm_ not doing it!" Romilda called out, and she and Lavender smiled at each other.

"Oh, trust me, you're _doing_ it," Cho growled as she got up in Lavender's face.

"Says _who_?"

"Says _me!_ I'm not about to lose this challenge because you got your hair did up, you daddy's girl mother fucking stuck up little bitch!"

"Back off, you Asian suffering stuck up wannabe glamour girl!"

"Mall shopping, girly looking, boy stealing, drama queen, fucked up little whore!"

Lavender said nothing. She only smiled. "Well, at least I'm _popular_," she hissed at Cho.

The whole team went silent as they watched the two girls go at it. Some smiled and egged them on, others back off, but Michael looked completely obvious to the whole scene and instead checked himself out in his pocket mirror.

"YOU'RE JUMPING!" Cho yelled in Lavender's face.

"OH YEAH? MAKE ME!" Lavender yelled back.

The whole team then watched in amazement as Cho picked up Lavender off the ground, carried her to the edge of the cliff, and threw her off violently. "AHHHHHH!" Lavender screamed on the way down, but she landed in the safe zone. She resurfaced above the water, spit out some water, and looked up at Cho. "UGGH! CHO! YOU ARE _SOOOO_ GONNA GET IT!"

"HEY, I THREW YOU INTO THE _SAFE ZONE_, DIDN'T I?" She looked up in the sky. "Now, I just hope I can hit it, too." And she jumped off the cliff. She landed into the water next to Lavender, and smiled at her, while Lavender only glared back.

"I thought this was gonna be a _talent_ contest!" Romilda whined nervously as she stood by the edge of the cliff. Lockhart only laughed in her face. "Hahahahah yeah…no."

Romilda jumped off, thrashing around as she did so in panic. Hermione jumped right after her, crouching her legs close to her as she did so. Justin jumped after Hermione, thrashing more wildly than Romilda. Luna then jumped, but she screamed more in pleasure, as if she was actually _enjoying_ the challenge! Michael came next as he dived off, his hands in front of him towards the water. Unfortunately, Michael had jumped into the danger zone, and the sharks had started to swim for him. "SWIM, MICHAEL, SWIM!" His teammates yelled from the shore. Michael turned around as he saw the oncoming sharks, their teeth bared and ready. But, they suddenly stopped, and took a long look at the dashing Michael Corner, his good looks, his eight-pack abs, his wet hair as if billowed in the wind, his hazel eyes, and his charming smile. The sharks were instantly in love with him. Everyone looked on, confusedly, as Michael took a ride on one of the sharks, and all the sharks escorted him to the shoreline.

"I-I-I can't do it," Susan said as she stood by the edge with Lockhart, "I'm too scared!"

Lockhart took out a chicken hat from behind him. "I'm sorry guys!" Susan cried out as the chicken hat was placed on her head. Cho and Justin only decided to make chicken noises at her. "That's like, _soooo_ lame! Right?" Romilda said as she stood by Lavender. "Totally Lame!" Lavender shouted up. Susan walked by Dean, her head held in shame, as Dean prepped to jump. "Let's do this, bro!" Ron exclaimed as he hi-fived Dean before running off the cliff. He dived into the water and landed in the safe zone, giving his team another point.

"Okay, campers," Lockhart spoke as he amplified his voice with his wand, "There's only one person left! You guys need this jump for the win! No pressure, Dean! Never mind, there _is_ pressure!"

Dean began to panic. "Come on, Dean!" The Screaming Grizzlies cheered on."Jump, Dean, Jump!"

"JUST JUMP ALREADY, WILL YOU?" Lavender shouted up.

Dean pulled up his floaties and looked over the edge.

* * *

><p><strong>Dean:<strong> Wow, I was pretty damn nervous. See, the truth is, is that I'm _not_ that strong of a swimmer…

**Harry:** I'm looking at this guy and just thinking, '_There's no_ way _he's gonna make it!_'

**Hermione: **I actually thought that if he jumps this, he's gonna die.

* * *

><p>"Take a good run at this one, mate," Lockhart told Dean, "You can do this!"<p>

"I'm going to die now. I'm going to TOTALLY die now!" Dean said as he prepped for a running start. Everyone watched as Dean prepared himself. The Screaming Grizzlies hoped that Dean would jump for the win. The Killer Bones hoped that he would chicken out in hopes of a tie breaker. "Come on, afro boy," Cho muttered under her breath. Dean clenched his fists, and took a running start before jumping off.

"AHHHHHHHH!" He screamed on the way down. He fell almost motionless, too scared to move. As he landed in the water, he caused a huge tidal wave, causing everyone to be washed upon the shore. "YEAAAAHHHHH!" Dean cheered as he resurfaced, "WHO'S THE MAN NOW PEOPLES?" The Screaming Grizzlies cheered Dean on as he made his way to the surface.

"THE WINNERS ARE…THE SCREAMING GRIZZLIES!" Lockhart yelled through his amplified voice.

"Dean, that was awesome!" Ron yelled out at Dean, who was still in the water, even though his face was a little petrified now. "Dean? What's wrong, mate?"

"Um, I don't know how to say this…" Dean said cautiously, "But I think I lost my bathing suit…"

"Eeeewwww! Groossss!" The campers shouted out. "No one needs to see that, Dean!"

"Dean," Ron said to Dean, "I think it's best if you just hang out there in the water for now."

**~XXXX~**


	5. Not So Happy Campers: Part Two continued

**Episode Two: Not-So-Happy Campers, Part Two (Continued)**

The Screaming Grizzlies, happy about their win in the first part of the challenge, were singing the "Ninety-Nine bottles of Beer on the Wall" song while carrying their crates on the pull cart that they had won. Meanwhile, The Killer Bones were struggling with pushing, pulling, and kicking their giant crates on the beach floor to the second part of the challenge. While pushing their crates, Pansy stopped in pain.

"Ouch!" she cried out while cradling her hand, "I think I just got a splinter!"

"SHUT IT AND CARRY YOUR CRATE!" Marietta yelled as she walked over, picked up Pansy's crate with ease, and put it back down. "_Chicken!_" she snarled.

"Hey! I'm _not_ a chicken!" Pansy yelled back. But in reply, Marietta pointed up at the chicken hat that Pansy was wearing (and had to wear for the rest of the day) as a sign of proof.

"Well," Pansy rebuffed, "_I'm_ the only one here with summer camp experience! You need me!" But Marietta only rolled her eyes and decided to help Neville. Although Neville didn't jump either for the team, at least he _accepted_ the fact that he was a chicken and actually pulled his own weight.

Seamus stopped in mid-track and put down his crate. "Sorry, you guys," he said to his team, "But I need to take a piss."

"Hurry up," Marietta said to him as he walked back, "We're already behind."

"I need to pee, too," Parvati said as she stopped pushing a crate with Padma." Oh my God, I have to pee also!" Padma exclaimed as she and Parvati smiled at each other. The three of them wandered backwards into the woods to relieve themselves of nature's calling. A mosquito-like insect buzzed around Pansy and landed on her eye. "Ouch!" she cried as she slapped her eye, causing the insect to die, "I think something just bit me!"

"SHUT IT, CHICKEN!" Marietta yelled back at her once more.

* * *

><p>The Screaming Grizzlies were still at their song in a light and happy mood. "Hey, you guys, there's the campgrounds!" Susan yelled out as the campgrounds came into view. "That was really easy," Dean said enthusiastically. "I'm pleasantly surprised!" Justin agreed.<p>

At the Killer Bones team, Seamus, Parvati, and Padma had finally come out of the woods.

"About time," Marietta growled at them.

"Can we _please_ go now?" Pansy complained as she covered her right eye, "I think my eye is swelling up!"

The twins went resumed pushing their crate, but just then, Padma felt the sudden need to itch. "Hey, I'm starting to get a bit…_itchy_. Do you need to itch too?" "Yeah, I do. I know what you're feeling," Parvati agreed as the itching sensation took over her, "Like, _really bad_."

* * *

><p>"Now remember," Lockhart said to the Screaming Grizzlies as they each began to bite the crates, "You can only use your teeth to open the crates. I thought of that one myself!"<p>

Luna struggled to open the box by pulling on the rope. "Hey! You Guys! I think I got mines opened!" She stopped pulling the rope, and watched as the crate fell open, revealing building parts inside. "Ow, ow , OWWWWW!" She cried in pain as she covers her mouth, "I got a rope burn on my tongue!"

* * *

><p>Parvati and Padma were still pushing their boxes, the itching sensation growing more and more. "Okay, now mine is <em>reaaalllllyyyy<em> itchy!" Padma cried out.

"Mine's feels like it's burning," Parvati complained. They both looked down behind them, and saw that their upper thighs, leading up right below their shorts to their buttocks, were glowing red and slightly bumpy.

"That's it," Padma cried as she stopped pushing the crate, "I _HAVE_ TO SCRATCH!"

The twins stopped pushing their crate and instead violently scratched their buttocks. "Hey, you two," Lockhart called from overhead on his broomstick as he flew down to see the cause of trouble, "You both are already _waaayyyy_ behind the others. Like, really. What's the problem?"

"Their butts are itching them," Pansy said. Lockhart turned, and flinched in revolt from Pansy's swollen eye, which had turned a shade of green. "Holy shit, _that's_ not good!" Lockhart cried out in sight of her eye.

"Did you guys happen to squat down when you peed in the woods?" Ginny asked as she confronted the twins.

"Yeah…?"

"Did you notice what kind of plants you guys were squatting over?"

"Yeah, they were oval shaped, green, and just, like, all over the place."

"Were they low to the ground, and about this big?" Ginny then did a small gesture with her hands.

"Yes, they were!" They nodded fervently.

Ginny had to fight off fits of laughter before telling them the next bit of news. "You guys just squatted in _Poison Ivy!_" she laughed at them.

The twins instantly stopped itching and stared at Ginny bug-eyed. After the realization hit them, they jumped up and down, going into freak out mode. "WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO!" As they jumped up and down, Lockhart only laughed at them, clearly enjoying the speculation. "Now _that's_ funny!" He laughed as he pointed at the twins. The twins, meanwhile, were on the sandy floor, dragging themselves across the sand to try to relieve their itchy butts.

* * *

><p>On the campgrounds, The Screaming Grizzlies had managed to open their boxes, and were pulling out the contents from within. "Hey, I got pieces of wood!" Dean cried out. "I got some tools here, like hammers, and a pool liner!" Ron called.<p>

Cho was reaching for her objects in the box Lavender and Romilda walked up to her together, causing Cho to look at them with suspicion. "Listen," Lavender began, "I'm sorry about earlier when I called you an Asian suffering stuck up wannabe glamour girl. I really didn't mean it, and by the way, I _love_ your hair! It's really pretty!"

"Oh really?" Cho asked, very flattered, "Well, I'm sorry about throwing you off the cliff and stuff!"

"No problem, I needed a push. Truce?"

"Yeah, Truce," and the two girls shook hands and hi-fived each other, then went back to doing their tasks.

"Hey, did you really mean all that stuff you said to Ching back there?" Romilda asked.

"It's _Cho_," Lavender corrected, "And Hell no. Cho's going _down_! And P.S.: That hair-style of hers is the ugliest way I've seen people do up their hair!"

"Ohhh…but wait…If you _hate_ her, why are you being _nice_ to her?"

"Wow, you've never seen one of these shows before, have you? You've got to 'Keep your Friends close, and you Enemies _closer_.'"

"Ohhhh…I'm your friend, right?"

"Oh yeah, you are…_for now_." Lavender then walked away, leaving Romilda to think that she's made a new friend amongst her team.

* * *

><p>While the Screaming Grizzlies began to build the hot tub, the Killer Bass finally managed to reach the campgrounds. "Finally," Collin panted, "We made it!"<p>

"Hey," Cho said as she and some of the teammates she was looking with looked up at them, "Aren't you guys missing a pair of female twins?"

The Killer Bones looked around fervently as realization hit them that Parvati and Padma were no longer amongst them. Meanwhile, Parvati and Padma were still on the beach. They had pulled down their shorts and underwear, and were sitting in the water with their exposed buttocks, letting the water sooth their itchy backsides.

"They're, um, getting a drink," Pansy said.

"Yeah," Collin said, then he whispered in an undertone to Cormac, "That is, if you drink water through your _ass_!" He and Cormac sniggered silently with each other.

Cho then shuddered in disgust as she looked at Pansy's swollen green eye, which had no begun to throb. Pansy saw what she was looking at, and made to quickly cover her eye.

"Woah! What happened to your eye?" Cho asked concerned.

"Oh, nothing," Pansy reassured calmly, "It's only allergies!"

"Well, I think it's getting _worse_," Cormac said. Indeed, it looked worse than when it first appeared moments ago. "_Shut your mouth_," Pansy whispered to him, "We don't want them to _know_ that!"

"Okay you guys," Harry said as he stood on top of the crates, "It's not too late to do this! We can still come back and win!"

However, his teammates simply sat on the stairs to their cabins, all hope lost to them. While sighing and moping, Pansy revolted in disgust when she spotted Cormac picking deep into his nose. "EWWWW!" She cried out at him.

"What?" he asked as he wiped his finger on his shorts.

"Dude, that's really disgusting!" Ginny said as she moved away from him.

"Okay guys," Pansy said as she stood up from the steps, "We have a hot tub to build, and we need a project manager. Since I've been a Prefect and know all about leadership, I nominate myself as Project Manager."

The others simply looked at her, causing no objections. "So, when do we begin, _Cyclops_?" Draco asked, sarcastically, making fun of Pansy's eye. Pansy growled as she made to attack Draco, but restrained herself. "Just start opening the crates! Ginny, go find those itchy twins! We've got a hot tub to build, and we're gonna need all the help we can get!"

* * *

><p>The Screaming Grizzlies were almost done with their hot tub; it was already filled with water and they were hammering on the final touches. The Killer Bass had finally managed to put up the outer part of their hot tub, but it was looking extremely shabby and dangerous, and after putting on the last piece, it had completely fallen apart. The Grizzlies used teamwork to help each other finish their tasks, but the Bones fooled around and argued. The Grizzlies' hot tub was neat and held all the water in, while the Bones had to duct tape theirs to keep the water from flowing out, and even then, water was seeping out from the bottom.<p>

Then came judgment time. Lockhart came and carefully inspected the Screaming Grizzlies' hot tub. After about five minutes, he stepped back from the hot tub. "Now this," he said, "Is an _amazing_ hot tub!"

The Screaming Grizzlies cheered, happy with their results. The Killer Bones watched nervously as Lockhart inspected their shabby, jacked up hot tub. He tapped the hot tub once, and it squirted out water at him, then it shuddered and completely fell apart, spilling water everywhere.

"Well," Lockhart said as the water spilled on his new shoes, much to his annoyance, "It's clear who the winners are today. It's The Screaming Grizzlies!"

The Screaming Grizzlies cheered over their victory of the first challenge, while the Killer Bones hung their heads in shame. "Grizzlies," Lockhart continued, "You are safe from elimination tonight! And, as an added bonus, you get to enjoy this hot tub for the rest of your stay here!" The Grizzlies cheered even louder. Lockhart turned to face the Killer Bones. "Killer Bones, sorry, but you lost. I will be seeing your sorry asses at the campfire ceremony tonight!"

"Yay, we won!" Romilda cheered, and she, Susan, and Lavender each hugged each other while jumping up and down in excitement. Dean hopped out of the hot tub and started cheering. "Yeah! We get to stay-ay! We get to stay-ay! We get to stay-ay!" The girls stopped and stared at him in confusement, for Dean was completely naked, and his "private parts" dangled around. He cheered as he ran up and hugged Romilda and Lavender, the latter being disgusted by the fact that Dean would hug her while he was completely naked.

* * *

><p>Dinner in the Main Lodge was all but pleasant for The Killer Bones; they knew perfectly well that one of them would be sent home right after dinner was over. They sat there in an awkward silence, focusing more on trying to devour Snape's inedible food (if they could call it food).<p>

"So, what do we do now?" Parvati asked when the choice of trying to eat dinner became demolished.

"Well, we have to figure out who to vote off," Pansy replied.

"Well, _I_ think it should be Princess or Plantboy here," Draco said as he pointed at Pansy and Neville.

"What? Why?" Pansy cried out.

"Well, unless I've gone mental, you two are the only ones here at this table wearing chicken hats. And if anything, I'd rather take my chances with Plantboy over you." Neville smiled as Draco clasped a hand on his shoulder, happy that he would pick him to stay in the team.

"But wait! You guys need me! I'm the only one-"

"We _know_," Ginny interrupted, "You were a Prefect at Hogwarts. But seriously, who would _you _pick?"

Pansy looked around the table at her teammates, seeking the one she thought no longer needed to be on the team.

"What about Seamus?" Pansy pointed out. "NOOOO!" Romilda cried out as she stood up from the other team's table. Her teammates looked confusedly at her, surprised at her concern for Seamus, let alone the other team. She caught herself and corrected her statement as she quickly sat down. "I mean, there's no salt to put on this food! What a bummer!"

"Hey, at least _he jumped_ off the cliff, chicken," Draco fired back at Pansy.

"SHUT IT, MALFOY!" she fired at him, making it the first time she's ever called him by his surname, which somewhat had an effect on him.

"Hey guys, c'mon, just chill," Harry said as he got up between Draco and Pansy.

"I've had enough of this prison food for one day. If you need me, I'll be taking a nap," Draco said, a little hurt, as he got up from the table and walked out the Lodge.

"You can't do that!" Pansy called after him, "We still haven't decided who to vote off yet!"

"Well, I don't get why we lost, mates," Cormac spoke up as he pointed to the other team, "I mean, c'mon, _they're_ the ones who's got six girls on their team!"

Everyone gasped and stared at Cormac, disapproving of his sexist comment.

"Okay, what the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?" Ginny growled as she and Marietta suddenly appeared on either side of him.

"Yeah, homeschooler," Marietta hissed as she banged her fist on the table, "Please, _enlighten_ us!"

"Well," Cormac started, "Guys are way stronger and way better at sports than girls!"

All the boys backed away as the girls shot death glares at Cormac.

"Hold up, I _know_ he did _not_ just say that!" Harry exclaimed.

"My father told me to look out for the girls while I'm here, alright? And to help them if they can't keep up!"

At this comment, Marietta picked up Cormac by the neck and lifted him up in the air, while Ginny prepared to punch the living daylight out of him.

"Still think we need your help, sexist?" Marietta growled.

"N-N-Not really," Cormac gasped.

"Okay, c'mon girls, give him a break," Harry interfered and Marietta dropped Cormac on the floor, "At least he didn't say that guys are smarter than girls, right?"

"But, they are," Cormac said, and Marietta attacked him.

* * *

><p>At the Campfire Pit, The Killer Bones gathered around the campfire as Lockhart stood amongst them, preparing for the departure of one of these teenagers. The girls still glared at Cormac as he sat up front with Draco. "Hey, mate, you've got <em>a lot<em> to learn now that you're back in the real world," Draco said to him.

"Killer Bones," Lockhart said as he stood before them, holding a platter of marshmallows, "In camp, marshmallows represent a tasty treat for all to enjoy by roasting it by the fire. At this camp, marshmallows represent _Life_. You've all casted your votes and made your decisions. There are only ten marshmallows on this plate. When your name is called, come up and grab a marshmallow. The one who doesn't receive a marshmallow must immediately walk to the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers. Meaning, you're out of the contest! And you can't come back. _Ever_."

Everyone looked nervously around, each hoping to get a marshmallow and not get voted off.

"The first marshmallow goes to…Harry."

Harry's face brightened up as he got up to get his marshmallow from Lockhart.

"Next…Seamus."

Seamus cheered as Lockhart placed a marshmallow on his stick.

"Parvati…Ginny…Neville…"

The three of them walked to get their marshmallows. Harry winked flirtatiously at Ginny, and she in return smiled back warmly at him.

"Collin…"

"Yes!" Collin cheered silently as he grabbed a marshmallow.

"Padma…"

"Yay! Thank you Lockhart!" Padma exclaimed as she ran up to claim her marshmallow before hugging her twin.

"Draco."

Draco smiled satisfyingly as he got up and grabbed his marshmallow. Lockhart then looked at Pansy and Cormac.

"Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening. The one who doesn't receive it will leave us for good." Cormac and Pansy shook in their seats, anxious to get that marshmallow and stay in the game.

Lockhart kept pointing his fingers back and forth between them, before finally settling on a camper. "Pansy."

Pansy cheered as she ran up to claim her marshmallow.

Cormac hung his head in shame and sadness, as he was the first camper to leave the show.

"Dock of Shame is that way, sir. And I can say that I'm not all that surprised. I watched you pick your nose. That is not sanitary."

Cormac got up and made his way to the Dock of Shame. Lockhart looked at the others.

"The rest of you enjoy your marshmallows. You are all safe…_only for tonight_…"

As they enjoyed their marshmallows, Pansy looked over at Draco and gives him an apologetic stare. Draco nodded his head curtly and revealed a small smile, accepting the apology that couldn't be put into words.

* * *

><p><strong>Hermione:<strong> Yeah…this camp still pretty much sucks. But, now that I'm here, I might as well actually _try_ to win.

* * *

><p>"To the Screaming Grizzlies!" Justin shouted out as he gave a toast at the Screaming Grizzlies' hot tub party. "Screaming Grizzlies!" The rest of the team yelled as they clanked glasses of soda with each other. Cho, Dean, and Ernie started dancing and chanted "Go Grizzlies!" as they did so. Some members of the Killer Bass walked by, jealous at the Grizzlies' party, and Pansy stopped when she saw the camera.<p>

"Are you recording this?" she asked to the camera. "Good," then she began to talk to the viewers at home. "The Screaming Grizzlies can enjoy their little party now, but everyone better watch out, because I'm going to win this competition! You just wait and see! Just wait!"

**~XXXX~**


	6. No Sleep, Camp Exodus: Part One

**Reminder: This is a Total Drama/Harry Potter crossover**

* * *

><p><strong>Episode Three: No Sleep, Camp Exodus, California<strong>

**Lockhart: **Last time on Total Wizard Island, Twenty-Two teenagers, who all attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, were each shocked to find out that they would be spending Eight weeks in crappy summer camp here at Camp Exodus, _without magic_! They have just completed their first challenge: Jumping off a cliff into shark infested waters! And while most of them were brave enough to take the plunge, a few were forced to wear the chicken hat. At the campfire ceremony, it all came down to Cormac and Pansy. Pansy has experience as a Prefect at Hogwarts and knows her way with bossiness, but she refused to take the jump. Cormac managed to piss off every single female at camp with his sexist comments about women. In the end, Cormac became the first contestant ever to be voted off of Total Wizard Island, proving that taking a year off of life to be homeschooled and expecting to return to the real world all fine and dandy just doesn't work out. Who will be voted off this week after our next challenge? Find out here! Right now! On Total…..Wizard…..Island!

**~(Total Drama Island Theme song plays)~**

It was early morning in Camp Exodus. So early, in fact, that the sun hasn't even come out yet; it was still very dark out. Lockhart walked out into the cabin area, megaphone in one hand, and air horn in the other. He raised the megaphone up, turned it on, held the air horn to the megaphone, and pressed down on it. The noise rocked the camp grounds, and every single camper jumped from their sleep, some hitting their heads on the ceilings, those on the bottom bunks whacked their heads on the beds above them.

"What the hell, Lockhart!" Hermione cried out.

"I'm saying!" Cho complained as she rubbed her head, "It's 5:30 in the morning!"

She leaned her head out the window and yelled out at Lockhart. "Do we _look_ like we live on a Muggle farm?!"

* * *

><p>After the teens reluctantly got out of bed and got ready for the day, they circled around Lockhart outside their cabins, tired and irritated.<p>

"GOOOOOOD Morning, campers!" Lockhart said enthusiastically, with his award winning smile plastered on his face.

"Where's the _good_ in it?" Harry muttered under his breath.

"Good morning to you too, Lockhart!" Lavender replied back with perkiness. "Has anyone ever told you that your shirt brings out your muscular biceps?"

"I know. I'm completely aware of that," Lockhart said as he winked. "Now I hope you guys are ready, because your next challenge starts in exactly one minute!"

"Uhhh, Lockhart?" Dean piped up as he put his hands behind his head and afro, "Not to be rude, but I'm pretty sure that that's not enough time to go and grab breakfast."

"Oh, not to worry, Dean. _You'll get your breakfast._ Right after you all complete a 30k run around the lake!"

"Ohhh, so you think you're _funny_ now, Lockhart?" Marietta exclaimed as she glared at Lockhart, stomping towards him, fists bared. "Well do you know what _I_ think would be funny?"

Harry and Draco both ran up to hold Marietta back before she could punch Lockhart's guts out. "Marietta!" Pansy hissed as she ran up to try and talk sense to her, "Try to control your temper!"

"Gahhhhh! You're _enjoying_ this, aren't you?!" Marietta screamed at Lockhart.

"Yes. Yes I am," Lockhart said, flashing his smile. "By the way, you have thirty seconds left to start!"

* * *

><p><strong>Pansy: <strong>Alrighty, so Marietta needs to learn how to control her temper. It's only been one day, and already she's thrown her luggage out the window, destroyed a chair, and broke one of the stall locks in the girl's bathroom. I don't know what happened with her and Cho, but she just needs to get it together!

* * *

><p>The campers posed in the starting position, waiting for Lockhart to give the cue to go.<p>

"Alright runners!" Lockhart yelled. "On your marks….get set….GOOOO!" Some of the boys took off to a sprint. Others jogged slowly as the sleep still possessed them.

By around the time the sun decided to poke out fully, half the campers had stopped running and instead walked, seeing as Lockhart wasn't monitoring them anyways. Others, the athletes, still had energy in them to run.

"How much longer?" Collin complained as he walked alongside Hermione and the Patil twins.

Just as someone was about to respond, Michael and Ginny sprinted past them. Unfortunately, the area happened to be muddy, so when the two of them ran by, they splashed mud all over Collin, Hermione, Parvati, and Padma. They trudged on, not saying another word to each other, while the twins cried and wailed that their clothes were messed up.

* * *

><p><strong>Lavender: <strong> Three words: I. Don't. Run. And, I do _not_ run in high heel wedges. Especially since I got these extra cute ones on sale at half-off? Uhhhhh no.

* * *

><p>Lavender walked on, not yet even breaking out into a run, and she almost stumbled right over Dean. Dean was bent down on all fours, his head inside an abnormally large puddle of water, and drank desperately from it.<p>

"Eeewwww….DEAN!" Lavender exclaimed, "What on _Earth_ are you doing?!"

Dean, having heard his voice, brought his head up. His face was covered in muck from the dirty water. "Well, you see, the thing is…..I got real thirsty, real fast…."

"And you're drinking water from that puddle?"

"Yeah. So?"

"SO?! That water is dirty and probably contaminated!"

"Yes. But _I'm_ thirsty. Sooooooo…." And he dunked his head back into the water.

Lavender shuddered. "Why Looney Lovegood has a crush on you, I'll never understand…." She muttered under her breath.

While she argued with him, Cho walked by and observed the situation. "Well, _you're _one to talk," she started up as she glared menacingly at Lavender while out of breath, "At least _he_ ran…"

She leaned up against the nearby tree, too tired for words. "I bet you couldn't even run because of those damn heels you got on…"

As the three stopped to catch their breath (Well, technically, two), Lockhart flew by on his broom, megaphone in hand. "I suggest you all pick up the pace!" He yelled through the megaphone. "If you don't make it back to the campsite by dinner, guess what? You don't eat!"

"Oooooh! I hate him _so damn much_!" Lavender muttered. However, this last remark about dinner caused her and everyone else to kick into high gear and run back to camp.

* * *

><p>After a short night's sleep, and spending the whole day running, most of the campers sat at their team tables in the mess hall. Tired and hungry, they waited around for Snape to serve food, while waiting for the others to come back. Just then, Dean busted the door down with his leg and ran inside, carrying an unconscious Ernie on his shoulders.<p>

"EVERYBODY MOVE OUT THE WAY!" Dean yelled as he slammed Ernie down on the Screaming Grizzlies' table. The Screaming Grizzlies all crowded around the table as Dean tried to resuscitate Ernie, who seemed to have stopped breathing.

While revival was going on, Collin staggered in, the last one of the Killer Bones left. "Where the hell have you been?" Pansy went off as Collin tried to regain strength in his body, "We lost the challenge because of you!"

"Wait," Hermione paused, "So if they lost….that means we won the challenge! We won guys!"

The Screaming Grizzlies began to cheer, and the cheering instantly woke up Ernie, who looked around feeling confused and dazed.

"Hold on there a minute, guys! Hold your horses!" Lockhart said as he walked into the room. "That _wasn't_ the challenge!"

"Say what now?" Harry muttered.

"Now," Lockhart said as he walked by a table covered by a red velvet cover, "Who wants their din-din?"

He pulled back the cover, and every teen's jaws dropped. On the table was every piece of scrumptious food imaginable. Glazed honey ham, steak-and-kidney pie, every type of chicken (roast, grilled, barbequed, Italian) Pasta Alfredo, Grilled Salmon, mashed potatoes, crab, shrimp, crawfish, every flavored ice cream possible, and right in the center, shining bright and glorious, was a large and very plump Turkey. It was practically like a mini Hogwarts First-day-back feast.

* * *

><p><strong>Hermione: <strong>Honestly, after a whole week of gross brown and green sludge and a few moments of 'What in the world is that?' from Snape's cooking, I literally almost cried when I saw this feast.

**Dean: **And there it was: The Feast. It was the most glorious thing I had ever laid eyes on. There was Turkey, Ham, Collard Greens, baked beans, buttered corn, ice cream, and everything! And after Snape's horrendous cooking, I just….I just…** *Begins crying***

* * *

><p>After all was said and done, the feast was finished, the teens laid around, their stomachs upsetting them from the food. They groaned as they held their stomachs, trying not to puke.<p>

"Alright campers," Lockhart said through a megaphone, "Time to partake in Part Two of the challenge!"

"So eating is _not_ the other part of the challenge?" Dean asked.

"Give us a break, Lockhart," Hermione groaned, "What more do you want from us?"

"Brainy girl's right," Lavender agreed, "Don't you think we've had enough?"

"Let me think," Lockhart pondered, "NO!" He jumped down from the table. "Now, ladies and gents, it's time for…..THE AWAKE-A-THON!"

"The What-a-thon?" Dean asked.

"Don't sweat it, Dean," Lockhart assured with a suspicious smile on his face, "This is an easy one! So guys, the team with the last person standing wins invincibility!"

"So," Hermione said as she processed things, "That 30k run and the feast was just a plan to make it harder for us to do the challenge?"

"Right you are, Hermione! And, if we were at Hogwarts, that would've been ten points for Gryffindor!"

"Wow," Hermione uttered, "You _are_ good…"

"So, with that in mind, MOVE OUT! MOVE OUT! MOVE OUT!" Lockhart yelled.

All the campers with some struggle managed to get up and depart from the Mess Hall. Ron walked up next to Hermione.

"So, 'Mione, how long do you think we have till everyone passes out?"

"About an hour, give or take. But now that I think about it, maybe less."

* * *

><p>The next day passed, and the campers sat around, the dark circles under their eyes from lack of sleep. Only Dean seemed to be the only energetic one wide awake.<p>

"We are now twelve hours into the challenge, and as of right now, all twenty-two campers are still awake," Lockhart said into the mic of the camera as a commentator.

"WOOHOO!" Dean cheered, "STAYING AWAKE FOR TWELVE HOURS! I CAN DO THAT IN MY SLEEP! HELL YEAH!" He pumped his fist in the air, but froze suddenly. After five seconds, he passed out on the ground and fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Hermione: <strong>The Awake-a-Thon was the most physically and mentally brutal thing I had ever done in my whole life. Brain cells wasted on what I could've done to make me smarter.

* * *

><p>"This is the most boring thing I have ever done in my whole life," Hermione slurred sleepily.<p>

"Well, it could be worse…" Ron muttered.

"Oh really, Ronald? It could be worse than this?"

"Well, yeah. I could be stuck here without you to be with."

Hermione lowered her head and blushed furiously, and Ron sported a small smile. Lavender looked on, suspicion and jealousy raging in her mind.

* * *

><p><strong>Lavender: <strong>My strategy to win this out is to form an alliance with two other people. Question is: Who is actually desperate or dumb enough to join me?

* * *

><p>"What are you doing, Romilda?" Hermione asked, for Romilda was standing on her head in the dusty ground.<p>

"I'm trying to make the blood go to my head because I know it'll make you dizzy and might keep you awake! I-I-I think it's working!"

"Can I try?" Susan asked as she looked on.

"Sure!"

Susan got on her head and stood next to Romlida as they both tried to make the blood rush to their heads. Lavender watched them, and an evil smile spread on her face.

"Bingo," she whispered. "Oh Romilda! Susan! Can I talk to you guys for a sec?"

"Sure thing, Lavender!"

They got up and followed Lavender as they walked away from the rest of the group. "So," Lavender began quietly, "I have a brilliant plan to rule out everyone and take me and two other people to the final three. And I chose you two!"

"Really?!" Romlida gasped.

"That's so cool!" Susan exclaimed.

"Now, this is an extremely big deal. I'm placing my trust in y'alls hands, and you should know that trust is a two way street. So you have my trust, and I'll have yours. Do we have a deal?"

"You bet we do!"

"And you'll do everything I'll say?"

"Yes! We're going to the final three! EEEEEKKK!" They both exclaimed.

* * *

><p><strong>Susan: <strong>Oh. My. GOD! Lavender, Romilda, and I will be in the final three! YAAAYYY! ***Gasps*** But wait! If we make the final three, what's going to happen then?

* * *

><p>"Speaking of alliances," Romilda started as she turned around and looked back at the other campers, "Do you know who I think is <em>really<em> hot?"

Her eyes rested directly on Seamus as he leaned against a tree stump. Susan and Lavender immediately knew who she was talking about, and Lavender stood in front of her to block her view.

"Oooohhhh no," Lavender said bluntly, "No, no, no, no, no. You are not allowed to date Seamus."

"Awww! Why not?!"

"Because! He's on the other team!"

"And your point is….."

"You can't….inter-team-date. It's against the alliance rules!"

"There are rules to alliances?"

Lavender walked to the two of them, fuming, until she was in their faces. "Remember what I said about _trust_, Romilda? Then again, you could always, you know, _leave_ the alliance and be on your own for the competition. And I won't be able to save you."

"No! Wait! I really want to be in the alliance!"

"Good. You know your place, then."

She turned around and walked back to the campsite, Susan following suit. Romilda sighed. As she looked up, she saw that Seamus had turned around and waved at her. She smiled and waved back.

* * *

><p><strong>Romilda:<strong> Well, Lavender said I couldn't date Seamus. Buuuuuttttt she never said I couldn't _like_ him….

* * *

><p>Back at the campsite, the campers were still sitting around. Marietta was listening to her mp3 player while everyone sat there, bored out of their minds. She finally got up, feeling the need to relieve herself.<p>

"I'm going to the restroom," She announced publicly. Everyone just nodded her way or looked up. She wrapped her ear buds around the player and placed in her pocket. As she walked off, the mp3 player fell out of her pocket and on to the ground. Lavender was the only one who noticed it. She got up, and without anyone noticing, walked over, picked it up, and sat back down next to Romilda, who noticed the object in her hands.

"Hey, isn't that Marietta's mp3 player?"

"Yes, yes it is."

"Well, isn't she going to get, you know, _real mad_ if she finds out it's gone?"

Lavender chuckled evilly. "Trust me, Romilda. That's _exactly_ what I want to happen."

**~XXXX~**


	7. No Sleep, Camp Exodus: Part Two

**Episode Three: No Sleep, Camp Exodus, California (Continued)**

Night time had fallen on the camp grounds. It was Nine o'clock, and a bunch more of the campers had succumbed to the overpowering sleep. Currently, the Screaming Grizzlies were leading the Killer Bones with Ten people awake to their Nine. Some of them, like Seamus, had reached the point of hallucination. Seamus looked over at the Patil twins, who were sleeping together, and watched as a grizzly bear suddenly jumped out, roared loudly, and ate their heads clean off their bodies.

"NOOOOOOOO! LOOKOUT!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

Seamus screamed, causing the Patil twins to wake up in panic, and alerting everyone else to their way. Seamus rubbed his eyes and looked around frantically.

"Where is it?!"

"Where's what!" Parvati screamed at him, ready to pounce.

"The Bear!"

"What bear?"

"The giant grizzly that was about to eat you!"

Everyone looked confused. Some rubbed their heads, trying to make sense of it all. Lockhart soon came around.

"Congratulations, campers," He said cheerfully, "The rest of you left awake has made it to the Twenty Four hour mark! You've been awake the whole day! Now _that's_ impressive!"

"Says the man who probably had a wonderful time sleeping last night," Pansy grumbled under her breath.

"Noooow…it's time to kick it up a notch!" He gestured to Snape, who pranced out in a sheep costume and a mini harp, while Lockhart pulled covers off of a pile of books, "Fairytales!"

"He's _joking_, right?" Hermione cried out as she and Ron sat shoulder to shoulder against the dirt slope of the campfire pit.

"Now gather 'round, kiddies!" Lockhart said as he picked up a book, "Because it's Story Time!"

Snape plucked a few strings on his harp in a melodious tune, and a few campers laughed. He shot a few death glares, instantly shutting them up.

Lockhart cleared his throat. "Once…upon…a time…" He read in a slow, soft, monotone voice. "There was…inside this boring kingdom…a boring village…" he read on as Snape continued to softly pluck the strings on his harp.

"And inside this boring…sleepy…village…" (Susan yawned, Harry began rubbing his eyes) "Filled with…very…boring…children…" (Justin's eyes began to droop) "Who did many…boring…things…"

Justin closed his eyes, and imagined little sheep jumping over a steeple, as many sleepy children do. But instead, the steeple was a giant harp. After about five sheep had jumped, Snape in his sheep costume decided to jump as well. But when he got in midair, the dream froze as a loud fart woke him up instantly. It turns out that he had fallen asleep on Dean's butt, and Dean just so happened to fart.

"AHHHH! GRROOOSS!" Justin squealed as he jumped and coughed out puffs of fart. Dean slept soundly on.

Just as things couldn't get any worse, they did. Somewhere, the Sugar Plum Fairy theme song from The Nutcracker Suite began playing, and Snape jumped out from behind the trees, dressed in a hot pink fairy pixie dress, complete with a gold crown, wings, and glass slippers. He jumped around and flicked his wand, causing sparks of pixie dust to float into the campers' faces, making them even more sleepy and willing to fall asleep. Neville had tied himself to a tree to try and keep himself awake (despite cutting off circulation in his body), but Snape's pixie dust spell caught to him, causing him to fall into a deep slumber against the tree. Snape stopped prancing, smiled evilly, and shot a blast of light at the tree. The tree tethered and suddenly topped over, with Neville on the bottom of it.

"Tiiiiimmmmbbbeeerrrrrr!" Ron yawned out as the campers watched the tree fall with the sleeping Neville tied to it, leaving the score Seven to Eight in favor of the Killer Bones.

* * *

><p><strong>Pansy: <strong>I've figured out that if I kept on moving around, I would beat the rest of them out. Just got to keep my eye on the ball.

* * *

><p>Midnight. The moon had risen fully at this point. The campers were Twenty Seven hours in into this cruel challenge. The Screaming Grizzlies regained the lead, having six campers still awake while the Killer Bones only had Four.<p>

"Seeing as we're awake," Lavender spoke up to Romlida and Susan, "We should talk about our strategy for winning this thing." When they didn't respond, she nudged Romlida.

"Huuuhhhh? Whaaaa? Ohhhhh…" Romilda groaned before she fell flat over backwards and Susan followed right after.

"Romilda? Susan!"

But Romlida and Susan had given in to the sleep, leaving the Screaming Grizzlies tied with the Killer Bones at four apiece.

* * *

><p>Hermione and Ron sat next to each other against one of the tree stumps, talking with each other now that they had the time.<p>

"Favorite song?" Hermione asked.

"Ummm….'I Must Be Dreaming' by The Maine. Favorite color?"

"Blue Jay Blue, like on the bird, the Blue Jay."

"Blue Jay Blue….that's quite unlike you, Hermione. I like it."

They smiled at each other and Ron's ears began turning crimson. Hermione tried not to laugh, but she ended up yawning instead.

"Awwww," Ron said as he put his hand on her face, "Don't fall asleep yet, 'Mione! Quick! What's your favorite movie?"

"Really?" Hermione began to blush hard at the question. "You might find this cheesy, and a bit stupid, but my favorite movie is The Notebook."

Ron began laughing, and Hermione slapped him. "I told you it was cheesy!"

"Wow, 'Mione, you actually _like_ that movie?"

Before Hermione could respond, someone walked past them that caused the two of them to quickly shut their mouths and turn and look behind them. On the ground were someone's clothes. They looked back up. Dean was completely naked, everything hanging out, and was sleepwalking all the way to the woods.

* * *

><p><strong>Dean:<strong> Well, I ate the whole plate of mashed potatoes and steak-and-kidney pie at the feast two nights ago. And Steak-and-Kidney pie makes me sleep walk, soooooo….

Ron and Hermione lay across from each other, the tops of their heads facing each one another. They laid flat on their backs and watched the night sky, trying to stay awake with each other.

"You still awake?" Ron mumbled quietly.

"Yeah," Hermione sighed, "It's a bit odd actually. I think I'm so exhausted to the point that I'm not even tired anymore. Does that make sense?"

"'Mione, seeing as we've been awake for over 24 hours, it's safe to say that it doesn't make sense. Then again, hardly anything makes sense to me." They both chuckled at the last part, for it was actually remotely true. "Where's the Little Dipper again?" he asked as he looked into the stars.

Hermione chuckled again. "See the Big Dipper?" she pointed into the sky at a series of stars that made up the Big Dipper. "You just follow the handle to the Pull Star, and it's right there beside it."

"Woah….that's cool…." Ron sighed as a big smile overcame him.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Dean (still completely naked) had sleepwalked all the way to the Cliffside where the campers had their first challenge just last week. He was about to walk right off the edge, but he quickly turned around and had his back facing the ocean. And just suddenly, he fell backwards off the cliff and straight into the ocean.<p>

Back at the campsite, Ron, Hermione, and a few of the remaining awake campers had finally took notice of Michael, who was standing like a statue, wide awake as can be.

"Wow," Hermione said in awe, "Just look at him! He's been awake and standing like that for a long, long time!"

"Don't you think it's all a bit suspicious though, 'Mione?" Ron asked. "The fact that he's pretty much been standing in that position _the entire time_?"

"Hey…yeah…." Hermione agreed.

They both went up to Michael and jumped up and down in his face, Ron making screeching sounds as he did. But Michael neither moved nor reacted, and if he did take notice, he was doing one hell of a job ignoring them.

"Wow, I'm amazed at his concentration," Ron said as he scratched his head in confusion.

Hermione touched Michael's face with her finger, and what happened next shocked everyone who was still awake: Michael flinched, and his eyes faltered to reveal his real eyes. Hermione and Ron gasped and jumped back; Michael had been sleeping the whole time.

"His eyelids!" Marietta screamed out as she witnessed them from across the pit, "I saw them! They were painted over!"

"Wow, really?" Lockhart asked, astonished, then his smile returned. "Oh, I have _got_ to see this one!"

He ran over to Michael who shrugged and grinned sheepish and guiltily. "That was incredible!" Lockhart exclaimed, "Buuuutttt, you're still out the game."

Lockhart walked away, with the Grizzlies officially down to three members left awake

* * *

><p>Dean was having adventure in the water. He sleep swam up a waterfall with the fish in the sea, and disappeared within the woods once more. And thus passed another night.<p>

And another day.

And another night.

And it was daylight once more.

The morning of what appeared to be day three of the Awake-A-Thon brought a bit more hijinks. Draco, who was still awake for the Killer Bones, had in his possession a cup with warm water in it. Snickering, he tiptoed towards Collin, picked up his hand, and placed the hand inside the cup of warm water. Collin groaned a little, and within seconds he had peed himself.

"Oh. My. God!" Draco laughed out loud, "I can't believe it! That Muggle trick actually worked!"

Collin woke up to the sound of Draco laughing hysterically. He looked around with a confused look on his face, then looked down and shrieked when he saw the pee stain on his pants. Embarrassed, he scurried off to find a clean pair of pants and fresh underwear.

Ernie was sucking on something, and he felt it too. When he woke up, he froze in shock to find that he was spooning with Justin and that he had been sucking his ear. The two guys screamed and jumped away from each other, blushing furiously as they did so.

At the fire pit, Ron, Hermione, and Lavender, the last three awake for the Grizzlies, sat around. Each of them were so desperately wanting to go to sleep. Hell, the muddy ground below their feet looked like it would make the perfect bed.

"Three words," Hermione yawned out, "I. Want. Coffee."

"Right…." Ron and Lavender agreed.

"I mean, _anything_ with some type of caffeine will be just fine," Hermione continued, "Is that too much to ask for?"

"Oh, c'mon now, you three," Lockhart said as he came by them. And would you look at that? He was sipping a nice cup of hot coffee. Hermione growled at him. "Just fall asleep already! You know you want to!"

Hermione growled even louder and pounced on him, pinning him against the ground. "Give me the coffee! You've got to help me out, Lockhart! I'll even eat the grinds! JUST GIVE ME THE COFFEE!"

After a struggle, Lockhart managed to throw Hermione off of him and pick himself up.

"Uggh! These were a perfectly good pair of robes, too!" Lockhart pouted as he dusted himself off. "But very well then. You five," He gestured to Ron, Hermione, Lavender, Draco, and Marietta, "Will come to me. As for the rest of you….you're free to take a shower! For God sake, you all stink!"

The rest of the weary campers cheered as they ran back to the cabin area to call dibs on the showers.

"Now," he said to the five of them, "I really didn't want it to come down to this. I even told Professor Snape that myself. But I thought that since you guys are so tough, I've come up with the most boring, sleep inducing activity that I could find."

* * *

><p><strong>Hermione:<strong> Oh, come on! What more could there possibly be? Hmph! Well you know what? Bring it on!

* * *

><p>Lockhart pulled out a history book. "And now, for the History of Great Britain. Chapter One. The Island was first inhabited by people who crossed over the land bridge from the European mainland."<p>

They all groaned. Even Hermione groaned, and she was one who was always up for History.

In the woods, the beavers had found Dean, and they had encased him inside their dam.

When Lockhart had finally finished chapter one, Lavender and Marietta had fallen asleep. Soon, Ron began to sway on his seat, and he fell onto the ground.

"No! Ron!" Hermione yelled. But it was too late: Ron had curled up into a ball on the ground and fell asleep. She kneeled down to him.

"Sleep tight, Ron," she whispered in his ear. When no one was looking, she pulled back a part of his trademark ginger Weasley hair, and gave him a light kiss on his forehead.

She was the last one awake for the Screaming Grizzlies, which meant that Draco was the last one awake for the Killer Bones.

"Well, now that it's just you two left," Lockhart said as he closed the book, "I think that that's enough History for one day." And he walked off.

Draco snarled at Hermione. "Well, I'd love to face off against you, Granger. Pity it couldn't be Potter, though. But, I guess a simple minded Mudblood like you will have to do.

She slapped him across the face. _Hard_. "Don't you _ever_ call me a Mudblood, Malfoy," she whispered viciously under her breath, "And watch your back. You never know when I might attack you."

"How can you? We don't even have our wands! We're in the complete and utter wilderness!"

"I never said I was going to use magic though…"

Draco growled at her, but Hermione only simply ignored him. The day went on as the duo continued the challenge. As night fell once more, it found the two of them sitting from each other at the campfire pit. They watched each other with complete and utter envy.

"What is it about you, Draco? What is it about you that throws me off?"

"I'm a Slytherin, I have good looks, all the girls flock to me, and I'm rich. All of those things you'll never be."

"Well, _three_ _out of four_ of those things you'll never be yourself."

Draco looked appalled. "Well, at least I know where my loyalties lie."

They both yawned and rubbed their eyes before Hermione shot back. "And what loyalties are those, Malfoy?"

"Well, at least I know that fun and games aren't all that's important at Hogwarts."

"What are _you_ talking about? _I'm_ always nose deep in my books! I study!"

"But when you're not studying, you're always running around with Pothead and that…that…Weaselbee…"

"And why in the hell do you care who I run off with and where? I have that right, Malfoy! They're my friends!"

"Because then you're not around!"

As soon as he said that, he covered his mouth, and his pale face began turning pink. If Hermione wasn't so tired, she would've jumped up in surprise and shock.

"You actually…want me…around?"

"Well…yes…and no. You're somewhat of an annoyance to me. Just standing there alone like what you're doing right now is irritating the hell out of me."

Hermione scoffed and turned away. They both yawned once more, before she turned to face him again.

"And is that how you feel? Or are you just messing with my head because you know perfectly well that I'm brain dead?"

"The truth comes out at night, doesn't it?"

He turned to face Hermione full on. "I've never hated you, Granger. I never have."

They both tethered on their seats (well, tree stumps), each of them about to fall over in exhaustion. Hermione tried to force herself to stay upright. She was just moments away from winning. She could just feel it.

"Really, Malfoy?" she mumbled sleepily.

"Yeah…" He whispered as they both fell over onto the ground, seconds from closing their eyes and falling into a much needed sleep. "I guess…you can say…that I've…always…liked…"

But before he could finish his words, exhaustion overcame both Draco and Hermione and plunged them into a deep sleep.

* * *

><p>Snape was in the camera room, somewhere in the location of the camp, and was in a chair reading a book. Lockhart returned from his shower, rubbing his golden wavy hair dry. Lockhart looked up at the cameras and discovered that Hermione and Draco were both asleep and that the challenge was pretty much over. He looked over and gasped when he saw that Snape was reading a book and not looking at the monitors.<p>

"Snape!"

"Yes?" he answered in his usual drawl.

"The final two have fallen asleep! Were you paying attention to which one had fallen asleep first?"

"Nope," he replied simply, this time looking up at him.

"Aw, Severus! How will we know who won the challenge then?"

"It's simple, really." He reached into his cloak, and pulled out a Knut. "Heads for Granger, tails for Malfoy."

Lockhart nodded at Snape and gave him the all clear signal. Snape flipped the coin.

* * *

><p>The next morning found the rest of the Killer Bones outside their cabin, cowering in fear. Marietta had discovered that her mp3 player was missing, and she was searching frantically inside the cabin, flinging everything out the window.<p>

"GAAAHHHH! WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS MY MP3 PLAYER!?"

The Killer Bones whimpered. Marietta stuck her head out of the window. "I NEED MY MUSIC! I KNOW ONE OF YOU TOOK IT! NO ONE LEAVES UNTIL I GET MY MP3 PLAYER BACK!"

She stuck her head back inside and continued her search, throwing more items outside the cabin. As they continued to cower, Lavender walked by, smiling evilly at the scene.

"Why hello, fellow campers," she greeted in a fake tone, "And might I ask what's going on?"

"Some stole Marietta's mp3 player," Pansy said, then she turned to face the others, "Now, one of you, whoever took it, _please_ give it back so we can end this madness!"

"Oh!" Lavender said suddenly, and she reached inside her shorts pocket and pulled out the mp3 player that she had stolen. "You mean _this _mp3 player?"

Marietta poked her head out, and at the sight of the mp3 player, she rushed up to Lavender like a little kid who wanted candy.

"I found this at the fire pit," Lavender said as she gave the music device to Marietta, "You must have dropped it there."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," Marietta cried with glee as she hugged her mp3 player tight to her chest, "Thank you soooo much!"

"No problem," Lavender said before walking off, an evil smile spreading on her face.

Marietta turned back to face her teammates, all of whom were looking directly at her with glares on their faces.

"I'm so sorry for that misunderstanding," she apologized, "I guess no one stole it after all…"

They glared at her even harder. She shook under the intense eyes and shuffled her feet. "Okay. I guess I overreacted just a little bit…"

* * *

><p><strong>Lavender<strong>: Turning the team against its own members is pretty much the easiest trick in the book. No magic needed.

* * *

><p>Lockhart came into view at the campsite. "Attention Campers! It has been made official: The Screaming Grizzlies won the challenge with Hermione being the final one awake for their team! Killer Bones, I shall be seeing you all tonight for another vote off!"<p>

The Grizzlies cheered and each congratulated Hermione for winning them the challenge. The Killer Bones sighed and groaned. Once again, they would have to go through the voting process at the Campfire pit. After all was said and done, the campers all went into their cabins for a much needed nap.

That night, the Killer Bones were sitting at the Campfire Pit, each waiting for their name to be called to receive a marshmallow.

"Bones," Lockhart said as he arrived with a tray of fresh marshmallows, "You've all casted your votes, and there are only Nine marshmallows on this tray. When I call your name, come forward and claim your marshmallow. The camper who doesn't receive one must immediately return to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and leave the island. And you can never come back. EVER. First up is Draco."

Draco looked up sleepily, and picked up a marshmallow off the tray.

"Ginny." Ginny got up and received her marshmallow.

"Pansy." Pansy instantly jumped up, excited about her marshmallow.

"Parvati and Padma." "YAY!" The twins cheered and hugged each other.

"Seamus."

"Neville."

"Harry."

Harry ran up to claim his marshmallow and ate it happily. The votes all came down to Collin and Marietta, each of them looking scared out of their wits.

"Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening. And it goes to…"

Collin and Marietta both closed their eyes. After a few silent moments…

"Collin."

Collin smiled with relief and went to claim his marshmallow. Marietta was beside herself.

"Marietta," Lockhart said as he walked up to her, "The Dock of Shame awaits you."

Marietta got up and turned to face her now former teammates, a glare upon her face.

"Haha, nice one," she snarled at them, "You know what? I don't _need _this damn tv show anyways! But just remember this: You all just voted off me. The strongest player on the team. I'd love to see how y'all will get by now!"

She turned around, kicked Lockhart in the shin, and stomped off. Lockhart hopped on one leg as he cradled his other bruised one.

"Owww!" He groaned. "Well, I hope you all have a good night's sleep tonight. You look like you all deserve it."

* * *

><p><strong>Pansy:<strong> Exactly what I mean. You can't just go on crazy psychopath mode and then expect people to forgive you right after! Even if you are the strongest, fastest, or fittest one here!

**Lavender: ** Sooooo Marietta was one of their strongest members….and now she's gone. I _so_ run this game.

* * *

><p>"Goodbye, Marietta!" Pansy called out.<p>

Marietta picked up a long, sharp piece of wood, and chucked it straight at Pansy's head. Pansy ducked and the wood hit the mud wall right behind her.

"Well. _That_ was a touchy goodbye!"

Marietta boarded the boat and it drove off. She sighed and moped.

"Well, I guess I let my temper get the best of me," she said into the cameras, "But they should know that they just voted off their key player! I hope they realize that soon!"

"To the Killer Bass!" Pansy shouted out as they all stood around the fire roasting marshmallows. "And to _not_ end up here again next week!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Dean was still fast asleep, but he had fallen asleep inside the cave of some Yetis. They poked at him with sticks, trying to decipher the creature in front of them. One of them poked at Dean's butt, causing Dean to fart. The stench was so foul that the group of Yetis kicked him out of their cave. Dean landed on the ground a good bit away from the cave, his sleep uninterrupted.<p>

And the funniest part of it all? Even now, no one knew that the Screaming Grizzlies had won all because of a coin toss.


End file.
